WHEN WEST SYLVAN Middle School Principal Allison Couch decided to ban hugging on campus earlier this month, she felt like she had exhausted all other options.

“If it’s a specific group of kids causing a disruption, you can corral them. But this was pretty pervasive,” she says.

Couch sent a memo to school district officials expressing concern about a hugging epidemic at the school, and on March 10 she issued a campus-wide ban on all hugging.

While high-fives may have been the greeting of choice in the past, this year Couch says she became concerned when she noticed boys hugging girls—and not just in a friendly way.

“They were hugging sometimes three, four, five, six times in a four-minute passing period,” says Couch.

That’s not all she saw.

“There was evidence of arousal in our boys,” says Couch. “You could see their little… because most of them wear gym shorts. So I’m like… oh my.”

Students are markedly less concerned about the hugging epidemic than the school principal.

Hugging is “natural,” according to Kylia Bryan, a student at nearby Cedar Park Middle School in Beaverton. “Whenever I see my friends, it’s the natural thing to do,” she says. “It’s mostly girls hugging girls.”

The ban has the school’s seventh- and eighth-grade students up in arms. A Facebook page named “Stop the Hug Ban at West Sylvan!!” has nearly 700 members—many of whom don’t attend the school.

“Ms. Grouch Couch is probably upset cause no one ever hugs her!” posted student Tom Hilton.

Another student, Robin Bolin, wrote, “How the fuck is a petition on Facebook going to motivate an ancient succubus to un-ban hugging?”

Couch, who is 57, says she has not seen the Facebook page. But she recently came across a New York Times article from last spring about a spate of hugging bans in schools across the country, including a middle school in Bend.

Meanwhile, parents think the debate has gotten too much attention.

“The kids have found a way to get a reaction from others and, in this case, even the media,” says West Sylvan Parent Teacher Association President Jill Ross. “It is time to let this non-issue go.”

Despite how students may feel about her, Couch says she enjoys the students’ hijinks.

“They like to see how far the boundaries go,” she says. “That’s why I like them. They’re so darn funny.”

13 replies on “Boner Patrol”

  4. Principal Allison Couch can’t possibly be serious. What is she gonna do, call the cops? Expell every student who hugs? And another thing. By her own admission, she deliberately checks out male students genital areas for “arousal”. I think someone ought to call the cops on HER!

    Man, i fuckin’ HATE small towns!

  9. Shit when I was in middle school the kids would make-out between classes. At their lockers, in front of the teachers.

    What is wrong with the school system in this state?

  11. While it may seem like a stretch, really, I’m glad for it.
    Have you SEEN kids anymore? How their parents allow them to dress?
    Even middle school kids are royal sluts anymore, and there’s absolutely no reason to allow them to be any more than they already are on school grounds. They have plenty of time to feel each other up on someone else’s time.

    this is such a non issue I can’t believe this was actually published… even on line… in a free paper…

    Next up: Student gets detention for texting during class! Whooptie freaking doooo!

  12. @mollymaverick, are you serious? You realize old geezers have been saying the same thing since the dawn of time? It’s part of growing old, I suppose, telling kids they’re amoral sluts who will burn in hell for eternity for the sinful crime of ‘hugging’.

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