Confession: we completely blanked on Good Morning News today. But lucky for you, dear bloggers, that led to the creation of a one-of-a-kind belated update. Meet Good Afternoon News! Here goes.
Stubborn Gaddafi: Gaddafi spokesperson refuses Libyan rebels’ demand to surrender, despite threats of an “all-out military assault” come Saturday.
AT&T Hits a Wall: The US Department of Justice sues to block the looming merger of AT&T and T-Mobile, dropping AT&T’s ego and shares.
Fear Overrides Education: In response to last week’s casino bombing in Mexico, 600 teachers are refusing to show up to school as they have been threatened with violence. Thus, 140 Mexican school are not opening for the new school year.
North Carolina Aims to Ban Gay Marriage, Again: While NC already passed a ban on gay marriage in 1994, it will be on the ballot as a constitutional amendment in 2012, just for safety’s sake.
Steppin’ Out: Another foot — the 13th in four years — washed up on Vancouver, BC’s shores. Police remain baffled.
Jack White Takes on ICP: What the what? Jack White’s Third Man Records is allegedly producing a new Insane Clown Posse single “Leck Mich Im Arsch”, a blend of Mozart and your favorite ICP rhymes. Check out the promo video:
In Other Unusual Celebrity News: Snooki is now a vocal advocate against global warming. “We’re all just sweating our balls off,” she says in a call to action.
Rising Stars: Watch a time-lapse video of a star being born, thanks to the Hubble Space Telescope.
GOOD AFTERNOON, ALEX. HOW ARE YOU?
That’s because Jack White is an overrated shit who writes the same song over and over and then thinks of himself as a modern Jimmy Page. Seriously, does anybody like any of his bands anymore?
Snooki is the Al Gore of New Jersey! Watch for her forthcoming book, “Balls in the Balance.”
I bet Snooki is against the evil pipeline.
GOOD AFTERNOON! I’M EXCITED TO WATCH THE HUBBLE MOVIE. STARS ARE COOL.
I WILL USE CAPS WHENEVER GRAHAM SAYS TO GODDAMMIT.
GOOD AFTERNOON!
@DAMMIT JONESER, NO ONE APPRECIATES SUBTLETY ANYMORE.
good afternoon news = Mercury staff hungover again…
FRUIT CUP, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I HAVE NEVER, EVER APPRECIATED SUBTLETY.
IT’S LIKE NO ONE EVEN CARES THAT I WAS ON BUZZFEED YESTERDAY. UGH.
@KIALA: IS THAT A NEW DRUG THE KIDS ARE DOING? LIKE, “MAN! I WAS SO RAZZLED FROM TAKING ALL THE BUZZZFEED!!”
@KIALA, I’LL LOOK IT UP, BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT YUL BRYNER WAS RUSSIAN!
Are you guys still having those secret juggalo meetings in the “rape room”? That was my favorite part about interning there. (Possibly a highlight of my life.)
I usually don’t get around these parts till afternoon/evening anyway. Thanks for the effort.
Snooki is an Alien, but not from the same planet as E.T.
Jack White is the new Michael Jackson.
WOW. YOU ARE ALL SHEEP.
caps or gtfo? again? lame.