Remember how it hailed yesterday in Portland (and how it snowed A LOT elsewhere in the state)? Well now, apparently, it’s going to get really, really cold. But it’ll be a sunny cold!
Of course, it still sucks worse in New York City. Streets there remain barely passable, and now it turns out that city officials were a little gun-shy when it came to actually getting plows on the road before they were snowed in. Good thing our fine city is all over such things.
Hey, look! It’s a rotting boat! The wreck of the Emily G. Reed, a maritime episode that killed eight people in 1908, has once again revealed itself off the coast of Rockaway Beach. The story also uses one of my favorite phrases: “poop deck.”
Failed Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell has had to take time out from not masturbating to answer questions about how she’s been using her campaign funds. Federal agents reportedly are investigating whether she used the money to pay for “personal expenses,” like rent. O’Donnell is blaming “leftists.”
Kinda sad? The last machine in the world processing Kodachrome film is easing its way into the ages. Even sadder? The 53-year-old railroad worker from Arkansas who borrowed $15K from his father’s retirement account to develop 50,000 train pictures before the processing deadline at Parsons, Kansas’ Dwayne’s Photo. (Oregonian trivia buffs should take heed of the NYT byline.)
Want to support the troops? Give ’em jobs when they come back from getting shot at in the deserts and mountains of Asia. The promise of a post-military career—a carrot used to entice young women and men into service—is proving thin for many returning veterans.
It was reported this week that 84-year-old Hugh Hefner is engaged to his 24-year-old “girlfriend.” Another playmate, in a new book, offers a glimpse of life in the Hef household: Viagra, dog mess on the floor, dirty and worn mattresses, and the general stench of decay.
The Chinese government has basically banned Skype.
In 1994, two sisters in Mississippi made off with $11 after cudgeling two men in the head with a shotgun, got caught, and were given life sentences. They’ve been given a chance at freedom, but only if one sister donates a kidney to the other one.
When they give you anesthesia, they really shouldn’t call it “putting you to sleep…”
And now? Cue the cuteness!
GOOD MORNING! PLEASE DON’T BORE US WITH NEWS OF OLD SHIPWRECKS THAT GORDON LIGHTFOOT NEVER WROTE ANY SONGS ABOUT. WE NEED A NEW WRECK, A NEW WRECK WILL DRAW MORE PEOPLE IN.
GOOD FREEZING-FOG MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I’M FINALLY ALMOST OVER MY STUPID COLD, HOORAY! SADLY, THE “PROMISE” OF A POST-SCHOOL CAREER IS PROVING THIN FOR MOST PEOPLE AS WELL.
BTW, APROPOS OF NOTHING, I WENT SLUMMING RECENTLY AT THE STRANGER’S BLOG, “SLOG,” AND FOUND THAT MOST PEOPLE THERE RESPOND TO COMMENTS USING THE NUMBER OF THE COMMENT RATHER THAT THE USERNAME OF THE AUTHOR. WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY SMOKING UP THERE, AS IF WE DIDN’T KNOW. IT’S TOUGH ENOUGH TO COME UP WITH PITHY, PISSY COMMENTS WITHOUT THEN BEING REFERRED TO AS “#2”!
GOOD MORNING ALL. I THINK SLOG HAD THE NUMBER SYSTEM WAY LONGER THAN WE HAVE.
IF WE HAD NESTED COMMENTS, WE WOULDN’T BE IN THIS PICKLE.
COMMENTY COLIN IN 2012! MORE NESTS, LESS PICKLES!
@#3: WHATEVS!
GOOD MORNING! I’M BACK FROM TROPICAL VACATION AND HAVE A GLORIOUS SUNTAN. WHAT’S THAT GRAY SHIT OUTSIDE? IT SUCKS HERE.
@ #2: HA HA, #2. LIKE POOP.
@#6: 🙁
@#2-7 MATH IS HARD.
AND THAT MISSISSIPPI STORY WILL INEVITABLY BE THE WORST LIFETIME ORIGINAL MOVIE EVER.
AWWWWWW SHIT, WHAT UP PEOPLE. #9 HERE (IF I CAN TYPE THIS QUICK ENOUGH), GIVING A GOOD MORN TO EVERY BODY. K, LATER!
@ tk: jk!
GOOD MORNING ALL. I’M SURPRISED I MADE IT IN TIME TO STILL SAY THAT. UM… OKAY THAT KODACHROME SHIT IS SAD. YEP.
@#6: YOU’RE A BIG MEANIE. ALSO, WHY DID YOU RESIGN?
GOOOOD MORNING!!!!! I JUST THINK WE ALL SHOULD GET BAR CODES WHICH WORK AND THAT WOULD BE OUR NAME EVERYWHERE SO IT WOULD SAVE US A LOT OF TIME EVERYWHERE SO WE COULD HAVE MORE TIME TO WATCH TV!!!!
NOT AS IN “HELLO BAR CODE”, BUT THE BAR CODE ITSELF WOULD HAVE OUR/MY NAME SO IT WOULD BE EASIER TO LOG IN AND PAY FOR STUFF AND STUFF!!! THE QUESTION IS WHEN???!!!
How can I get my camera to make backward running cat movies like that ?
I think everyone in prison should have spare organs removed. It will make them less violent.
@#15: WAIT’LL YOU SEE THE ONE WHERE SHE CLEANS UP HER OWN LITTERBOX. HILARIOUS!