Thanks for playing! NOW GO HOME. Wisconsin Republicans decide they don’t need their holdout Democrat counterparts after all. Helped by legislative chicanery, the state’s union-busting bill goes forward and is expected to be signed.
Now the state capitol is in lockdown. And protesters, predictably, go batshit.
Moammar Qaddafi is using a secret stash of cash to prolong Libya’s civil war. Combat around another “strategic oil town” is some of the most vicious yet.
And although the rebels might be getting pounded, they’ve also got a new friend. France is the first major country to recognize ’em as an opposition government.
There’s a Muslim Inquisition planned on Capitol Hill today, apparently something to do with “scary radicalism.” But funny thing? Breathless headlines aside, the (already tiny) number of American Muslims involved in terror plots actually dropped last year. Watch the jingoism live!
So remember that home intruder who called Portland cops on himself, after showering? Now he’s gotten friendly with Washington police, allegedly for stealing a BMW and then shoplifting at a WalMart.
Women who post lots of pictures of themselves on Facebook really like it when people look at those pictures. Science says so!
The Pope spaketh again: First he decided that the Jews didn’t kill Christ after all. Now he says Jesus was no revolutionary and that (sorry, mouth-foaming Christians!) violence in god’s name is never okay. It’s still okay, however, to invoke the devil dressed up as god.
HOLY SHIT! On March 19, the moon will be abnormally close to the Earth, and it will be full, and-and-and-and that could lead to global natural disasters, says one astrologer… Oooooh. Astrologer. Never mind.
REMEMBER? Do ya? Huh?
It tugs the heartstrings a little, but at this point we’ve more than made up for the loss of Weinhard’s.
Wait. You mean women – who are taught their entire lives that their appearance is the most important thing EVAR – feel the need to be validated via their sexxxy pics on Facebook?
I have fallen over with teh shock.
The problem is that if France is backing the Libyan rebels, they’ll certainly soon be defeated… by Germany.
Good morning, guys! Is it time to go home yet?
“Some folks say you gotta do more,
guess I could; don’t know what for.”
That was actually an oddly Portlandian observation.
Like I have said before, men, just send out a shipment of Blu-Rays to Qaddafis residential home, with the player included, and this foolish thing (war) might finish, end, c’est fini. Include one or two cool gadgets just to make sure.
“and-and-and-and that could lead to global natural disasters, says one astrologer… Oooooh. Astrologer. Never mind.”
Right. Oh, Nevermind, Japan!