Unemployment Rates a Little Less Horrifying: July unemployment rates dip as hiring picks up. US employers added 117,000 new jobs last month.
Martian Tide: Scientists finds signs of saltwater flowing on Mars. Right now.
Kissing, dancing, revolt: Determined Chilean students fight for an education system reform by holding kiss-ins, hunger strikes and Michael Jackson dance-offs across the country.
Airline Workers Back on Board: Senate passes bill to temporarily restore full funding to the Federal Aviation Administration, restoring roughly 4,000 jobs.
Orange Goo: A perplexing orange substance has appeared on the shores of an Alaskan village.
Too soon?: Despite administration’s regulatory clampdown on offshore oil drilling post-BP spill, Shell receives tentative approval to drill in arctic.
Polygamist + Polygamy = Prison: Head of a Texas Fundamentalist LDS church convicted of child abuse. Claimed God will seek revenge.
Huckabee’s 9/11 Cartoons for Kids: Mike Huckabee makes a series of animated videos explaining the War on Terror and the Reagan administration to kids. With “four very special free gifts!”
Another bike tragedy: A 70-year old bicyclist hit by a Renton SUV Thursday dies.
Sizemore to Jail: Tax-evader and former GOP candidate for governor Bill Sizemore sent to jail for 30 days.
Fun Fact: Bananas drive cars now!
And, in Other News: Roseanne is Running for President.
Bill Sizemore is probably my least favorite person in Oregon politics. He’s the reason why I loathe the initiative process and the horrible ease at which the Oregon constitution can be amended.
Sadly, the jail will probably be marginally nicer than the schools he’s helped defund.
Re: the Alaskan goo, I just watched the classic version of THE BLOB so this shit doesn’t seem funny. And Steve McQueen ain’t around to save us either.