Behind Bars: George Zimmerman has been arrested and charged with second-degree murder in the shooting of Trayvon Martin. Zimmerman, who says he was acting in self-defense against an unarmed Martin, plans on pleading not guilty.
Name Game: Kim Jong Un was declared the “first secretary of the ruling Workers’ Party” yesterday (a title North Korea made up just for him). His father, the deceased Kim Jong Il was given the title “Eternal General Secretary.” There goes eternal retirement.
Time Bomb: Meanwhile, North Koreans wait for top-notch weather conditions to shoot off their dreaded “covert” missile test.
Shakin’: Two quakes—with 6.9 and 6.2 magnitudes—hit Mexico’s Gulf of California yesterday, sending tremors through Baja California and up to Arizona. No tsunami warnings were issued.
Heavy Lifting: Ann Romney creates a Twitter account to explain that yes, she has worked a day in her life (spoiler alert: she calls it raising children).
Fox Mole Found: The associate producer of “The O’Reilly Factor” was fired yesterday after being uncovered as the mole hired by Gawker to post photos/video from inside the Fox bunker.
Muggle Book: JK Rowling is writing an adult novel (no, unfortunately not like it sounds) about an English town at war. She released the title yesterday: The Casual Vacancy. Sounds thrilling.
Wham Bam: If you’re wondering why the street’s closed off…A driver hit a pole, flipped his car and took off running in the wee hours of the morning on East Burnside.
This Exists: A PSA on safe sex. For seniors.
GOOD MORNING, ALEX!!! HOW ARE YOU?!?
OLD PEOPLE HAVING SEX IS GROSS.
I probably shouldn’t mention this, but I’ve placed a mole in the Mercury staff (and of course it’s the person who bad-mouths me the most). Sorry, but I can’t afford to buy you chocolate and pantyhose anymore.
SINCE IT’S JUST THE THREE OF US TODAY, I PROPOSE WE HAVE A LITTLE FAMILY MEETING. DOES IT SEEM TO YOU TWO, AS IT DOES TO ME, THAT THE QUALITY AND QUANTITY OF BLOGTOWN LULZ HAS BEEN IN A PRETTY CONSISTENT AND SIGNIFICANT RETROGRADE LATELY?
I MISS THE GLORY DAYS IN WHICH COMMENTERS LIKE COLIN, BLABBY, REYMONT, ETC WOULD AT LEAST JUMP IN ONCE A DAY TO FLAME ANONYMOUS COMMENTS OR WHINE ABOUT CROSS-POSTS FROM SLOG.
WHAT IS THE CAUSE OF THIS? HOW DO WE BREAK OUT OF THIS RUT? I AM FEELING SO UNFULFILLED IN MY PERSONAL LIFE AS A DIRECT RESULT OF THE LACK OF BLOGTOWN LULZ.
Old people having sex is indeed gross.
I plan on being really gross when I’m old.
I don’t think it’s all that mysterious, Oregometry. They’re a bunch of lazy bums.
I’ve been way too busy having sex with old people, Oregometry.
Can someone please deny the sneaking suspicion that it was actually the Romneys’ nanny doing the work that Ann is claiming?
@4: I STOCKED UP SOME AMAZING LULZ BUT YOU DIDN’T NAME ME IN YOUR LITTLE LIST SO YOU DON’T GET SHIT.
MEA CULPA, JONESER. I ACTUALLY WAS GOING TO LIST YOU (LOVE YOUR LULZ) BUT LEFT YOU OFF BECAUSE YOU NOW HAVE A RECURRING POST ON BLOGTOWN AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT TAKE UMBRAGE AT BEING LUMPED IN WITH US LOWLY COMMENTERS. I ACCEPT FULL RESPONSIBILITY AND WILL BE MAKING A DONATION TO THE ‘SUPPORT BLOGTOWN’S NBC THURSDAY NIGHT SHOWS WRAP UP FOUNDATION.’
@OREGOMETRY: JUST BUSTIN’ YOUR BALLS. I AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT COMMENTS BEING SNOOZEVILLE LATELY.
Old people having sex is not gross. Unless you think all sex is gross, which it kind of is.