“This Time, the Words Need to Lead to Action.” Obama promises to push concrete gun control reforms.

Many Gun Owners Say… gun control doesn’t stand a chance.

NYSE 4 SALE: The New York Stock Exchange is sold to an Atlanta company which promises to make it more high-tech.

First Lady: South Korea elects its first female president in a hotly contested election.

Death Penalty Sought for Soldier: The US soldier who senselessly slaughtered 16 civilians in Afghanistan is heading to trial.

Fired, Fired, Fired, and Fired: Four State Department are out of their jobs after a scathing report is released on Benghazi.

Kodak Resurrection: Apple and Google are snapping up Kodak patents. Big plans, guys?

A Heartwarming Story of Trash: In Paraguay, a guy is making instruments for kids out of things he finds in a landfill.

Meanwhile, in Canada: Police nab thief who ripped off a powerful maple syrup cartel.

END OF THE WORLD NEWS UPDATE:
• Worried? Email NASA! That’s what thousands of people have been doing, anyway.
• China arrested 1,000 people in a Doomsday cult. Good thing they’ll only be in jail till Friday, I guess.
• This lady needs to have sex with someone before the world ends, please.

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

3 replies on “Good Morning News!”

  1. If you want a news story, go out and try and find an AR-15 for sale in Oregon. Anywhere. Not only do I doubt that you’ll be able to find one in Oregon, you won’t find one anywhere in the United States.

    Back in September I was selling an AR15 and AK47 for $750 each, I bought the AK in 2005 for $400, and the AR I received through a trade worth about $500 in 2008.

    Now, simply due to politics, the same rifles are selling for near or over $1,000. I checked prices last night on gunbroker.com.

    If Obama passes a “ban” of any sort, I might get $1500, or a lot more, per rifle.

    How many other investments have that high of ROI?

    This is why prohibitions don’t work – *just think about Marijuana* – The price is inflated, but it doesn’t curve demand nor stop the market. Even if the private sale of one of my rifles were to become illegal, I would still sale it, as I’ve bought and sold marijuana.

    This gun ban is going to make me rich. I’m actually getting excited.

  3. Mirk, people go through a trial or Military Tribunal in this case before they are convicted. You did not use the word accused in this piece, so am I to assume you have already decided this person is guilty? Unlike some civilian cases of homicide (eg, “The Juice” getting off after making Pez dispensers out of two people) I am sure the courts will get to the bottom of this terrible incident

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