CAGE FIGHT TURNS GAY!!! In Arkansas. Where else?
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POLLUTION CUTS BY 2050!!! When the G8 will probably extend the deadline to 2090. Because those numbers mean something.

UK PM BROWN EATS EIGHT COURSE DINNER BEFORE FOOD CRISIS TALKS!!! Because he’s a fucking idiot. Actually, my mistake. He’s Scottish.

SQUABBLEFEST!!! Grandpa McCain really has a shot at the Presidency with a team of advisers who can’t agree on the basics. Like, “Isn’t Cindy McCain absolutely terrifying?” I mean, there’s disagreement there. Sheesh.

HANKY PANKEE YANKEE!!! Madonna rumors are last straw for A-Rod’s wife.

Good day.

Matt Davis was news editor of the Mercury from 2009 to May 2010.

8 replies on “Good Morning, News!!”

  1. I like how it’s the UK PM that gets the headline, despite being just one of 15 people attending the meal… Why not use the headline “G8 leaders hypocritically eat their way through 8 traditionally small Japanese courses!!!”? Oh wait, that wouldn’t be nearly as exciting. Seemed like a good excuse to slag off a Scot, right Matt?

  2. how our eating habits affect the rest of the world is a legitimate concern. fat americans might benefit by considering that every excess quesadilla they jam down their gobs means a tortilla that company won’t instead sell somewhere else cheaper in the future.

    but judging someone for what they’re served in a social setting where they have very little personal control of the menu is not really fair. additionally, i don’t think he was taking caviar out of the mouths of african children.

  3. Matt: you’re a public school boy. I can tell.

    Clearly, I forgot for a second that I was reading the Portland Hyperbole…

  4. That pic, btw is a stunt done by Oxfam (www.oxfamamerica.org). Just wanted to give some credit where its due.

    And speaking of which! I happen to lead the local Oxfam group so if anyone is reading this and wants to participate go to http://www.oxfamactioncorps.org and click on Portland

    AAAAANNNDDD we are having a launch party tomorrow (thursday 9)for this new climate change campaign so if anyone is interested, email me at portland@oxfamactioncorps.org for details.

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