China Takes Over World: While most other countries are doing their best lil’ Orphan Annie impression, China is investing billions worldwide — $41 billion in oil companies in the last WEEK ALONE.

“Iranian terrorism is surrounding us from north and south” : The leader of the Conservative Party in Israel has six weeks to pull together a government after the current president invited the right-winger to take over the presidency.

Post 20% Less Racist: The New York Post offered the world’s most lame ass, half-apology ever in response to the chimp cartoon: “to those who were offended by the image, we apologize.”

Cell-fish Drivers: Oregon legislature considers a bill banning drivers from using hand-held cell phones. I eagerly await inevitable release of KOIN news investigative report “Highway to Cell?!”

What Would Jesus Stimulate? A new anti-stimulus ad uses the power of Jesus to counter perceived pork.

Poor Profits: Banks profitting from skimming fees off the top of people’s unemployment checks.

Hamburglar is Herald of Doom: New study shows that living in a neighborhood with lots of fast food restaurants increases your chance of dying an artery-clogged death. Uh, surprise?

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

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