The International Criminal Court has ordered the arrest of the President of Sudan for war crimes, who allegedly told his soldiers “to kill, and to rape children.” (I need to lie down and put a cold washcloth on my face.)
Iranian police arrest porn stars—a crime that carries the death penalty. If that’s not a case for granting asylum, I don’t know what is!
Speaking of crime porn, Octomom Nadya Suleman is attempting to sell the video of her giving birth to eight kids.
The Obama administration kicks off a plan to keep 9 million borrowers in their homes.
Obama also announces his intention to put a stop to all those “no-bid” federal contracts. But… but… what about all those Halliburton employees?
Amazon unveils their new Kindle app for the iPhone, which will allow you to access much of the same content. (Sorry, no newspapers or magazines yet! BOOOOO!!)
A Wal-Mart shopper finds 10 human teeth in a wallet. Hmmm… how can I turn that into an iPhone app?
Hey, as long as we’re buying bridges for people, whaddaya say we chip in for the Sellwood Bridge?
And finally, Vanilla Ice issues an apology for his musical career. Hey… wait a second… he’s being SARCASTIC! Where’s his war crimes tribunal?!?
Iran has Porn let alone Porn Stars? “– roughly 70% of the population are aged under 35 –” only a matter of time before a Fatwa is declared on being an uptight prude who uses religion to suppress joy. Also, what’s next they discover 1 actual homosexual inside the country?
Vanilla Ice is rad and Ice Ice Baby is a good song! He doesn’t need to apologize. Screw off, Virgin Moblie (sic).