With the debt ceiling deal signed and sealed, Portland rabble-rousers joined together yesterday evening to respond in a predictable manner: a protest! The eclectic, albeit unsurprising, array of ralliers, decorated with heavily-pinned vests and Kucinich caps, took to Pioneer Courthouse Square to declare their unrest. The result: Another bland rally accented with the occasional pot-clanging.

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To be honest, I’m always more taken by the signs than the run-on debates and uninspired chants — “Tax the rich, tax the rich” can only go on for so long— of a rally. So, let me direct the audience above the heads of the riled-up crowd.

There was the expected: “Abolish Corporate Personhood” and “Medicare for All!”. The clever rhymes: “Hey Obama get a clue it’s about about revenue!” And then there was everything else.

“Big Boys and Girls Share”, written in childlike font, was a hit, hoisted ironically above the head of an older woman dressed in a tutu getup. Then, a personal favorite, “Sacrifice the Rich!” — a novel take on Robin Hood’s adage — led to many concerned glances and sidesteps. And, the cherry on top, “I don’t eat peas!” (a stubborn response to Obama’s recent veggie metaphor).

But the deal passed anyway, with Oregon’s representatives split. Moral of a dull rally: The pen is mightier than the sword. Or tambourine-shaking protester.

Alex Zielinski is a former News Editor for the Portland Mercury. She's here to tell stories about economic inequities, cops, civil rights, and weird city politics that you should probably be paying attention...

5 replies on “How to Make a Boring Rally a Little Less Boring”

  1. Wow, Zielinski, you really know how to shit all over a protest rally… What’s the matter, did you run out of puppies to kick or something?

  2. Don’t these ‘protesters’ know that if you REALLY want to get your point across and be taken seriously you have to undress to do it?
    Slut-walk, Naked Bike Ride, Peta, etc.
    C’mon people, get with it – get naked and we will prick up our ears and hear your impassioned wail.

  3. @franklieb….ssshhhh they don’t know the Portland secret, come on man, don’t ruin it. I find it funny that the majority of those protesting, or reading the Mercury or working for it have absolutely no clue what this actually means. Or how it will impact the World for the next few decades. Much better to write something flippant and trite, and God forbid you stop worshiping King Obama

  4. Obama Rocks man!
    You know if you got both the right and the far left attacking you that you are doing something right.
    I only wish he coulda got the rich to pay their fair share in the budget deal.
    However, McCain got back some of my respect with his hobbit speech.

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