MELBOURNE, Fla. — A Brevard County doctor dressed up in a Captain America outfit was arrested with a burrito in his tights.
And that’s just the title and the first fucking line. It gets better. It gets sooooo much better.
On Saturday night, when a costume party full of medical professionals stopped at On Tap Cafe, police said Adamcik had a burrito stuffed below the waistband of his costume and was asking women if they want to touch it. When one refused, he allegedly took out the burrito and groped her.
The woman called police and, when they arrived, the officers wrote in their report “there were so many cartoon characters in the bar at the time, all Captain America’s were asked to go outside for a possible identification.”
- Is that a burrito in your pocket, o esta feliz que verme?
Thank you Film Drunk. Thank you “news.” And thank you, America.
This isn’t news. This is olds.
Olds to you. News to me. (Hey! That would be a great new tagline for us!)
Captain Sadmerica.
The Portland Mercury, not content with butchering the English language alone, has decided to expand to Spanish as well.
what an unamerican story; the merc is really allowing its hatred from america show
WTF! This story is more than a month old. And not that interesting. Poor blogging.
A month is not old for a comic book to sit on a shelf and wait, sniffling, for someone to pick it up and put it in their pants, like a burrito and/or sex toy.
And hey…
Isn’t Captain America dead?
Isn’t the current crap they’re selling as Marvel comics dead?
Isn’t it possible that this guy is actually the Red Skull trying to sully the good captain’s name? HE sooooo did that back in issue #197, but it wasn’t a burrito it was a grenade, and it wasn’t in his pants, it was hidden in Cap’s shield…but still, same trick, different deadly device.