GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! You would have thought I needed help with the feeling that I felt. So shook I had to catch my breath. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Let's start with some good news, shall we? Our very own Rose City Rollers came back from a big deficit to beat Gotham in the WFTDA roller derby international championships, making them the very best in the world for the second year in a row! All Hail, Rose City!

In other nice sports news, the Blazers take down the Grizzlies, 100-94.

Oregon is well on track for a huge voter turnout by tomorrow—SO HAVE YOU VOTED YET? The time is NOW. If you need help, check out our Voter Cheat Sheet, and if you're already done, then start preparing for tomorrow night's Mercury Election Night Party at Doug Fir Lounge. It starts at 6 pm and it's FREE.

After all that bullshit hubbub about emails, FBI Director James Comey says they've found no criminal wrongdoing, and will not recommend charging Hillary Clinton. Also, this butthole should be FIRED. In related news, Trump responded to this revelation with "Wah, Wah, Wah."

And according to Nate Silver's 538 forecast, Hillary Clinton is currently leading in this tight race, and will maybe probably kinda win? Unless she doesn't. So yeah, still not a shoe-in.

You'd think this close to an election, Trump wouldn't say something stupid and racist. You'd be wrong.

But don't worry, here comes President Obama to the rescue to make merciless fun of Trump after his staff allegedly took away the candidate's Twitter account.

Meanwhile voters in California, Massachusetts, Maine, Arizona and Nevada will decide in this election whether or not to legalize recreational pot. (Go ahead, guys! It's fun!)

And if you haven't voted but are considering saying no to Measure 97, which if passed would help us fund our schools, take this NYT headline into account: "Donald Trump’s Big Bet on Less Educated Whites."

Our first female US attorney general, Janet Reno, has passed away at the age of 78.

Here's one way of dealing with gender inequality at the workplace: Women in France are being advised to walk off the job if they're not given equal pay.

A 5.0 magnitude earthquake rocks a town in Oklahoma causing significant damage.

Now let's look outside at the WEATHER: Practically balmy days today and tomorrow, with sunny skies and highs in the upper 60s.

And finally, for probably the last time, let's watch the one good thing that came out of this goddamn election year: Kate McKinnon and Alec Baldwin as Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump on SNL.