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New documents allege that Trump cronies attempted to surveil and remove Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch... or something far, far worse?
New documents allege that Trump cronies attempted to surveil and remove Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch... or something far, far worse? Drew Angerer / Getty Images

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Now what is it that she wants? Tell me what is it that she needs? Did she hear about the brand new Benz that you just bought for me? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Let's start with some IMPEACHMENT NEWS: This morning House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced the seven impeachment managers (including Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler) who will make the case against Donald Trump in the Senate, and after they are voted on, they'll actually walk the articles of impeachment across the Capitol to deliver them. (Pomp AND circumstance!)

It may be harder for Senate Majority Turtle Mitch McConnell to give Trump the sham trial he's asking for in the wake of new documents released by Giuliani crony Lev Parnas, which, if true, sound an awful lot like an orchestrated attempt to surveil and remove US ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch, and... maybe something far more sinister?

Last night marked the last Democratic debate before the Iowa caucuses, and Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren lightly debated the accusation that he told her that a woman presidential candidate isn't electable, Amy Klobuchar made a strong showing on Medicare, Pete Buttigieg had a flat performance, and Biden... well, he was Biden. (To the surprise of no one, hardline Bernie Bros [or perhaps Russian bots?] are trying to get the hashtag #NeverWarren trending. Can my eyes roll back in my head any further?)


According to some key Democrats, there are enough votes in the Senate to pass their resolution which would limit Trump's ability to attack Iran thereby potentially destroying the world.

More shenanigans from Vladimir Putin who is reshaping the Kremlin following the surprise resignation of Russia's prime minister and government.

Former Stormy Daniels lawyer Michael Avenatti was arrested outside of court yesterday on charges of violating the terms of his release after being accused of funneling money for himself from a client's lawsuit.

The internet lost their goddamn mind yesterday when video emerged of libertarian actor Vince Vaughn shaking Trump's hand at a football game—even though this is the first time in years anyone has even uttered Vince Vaughn's name. Who cares.

A pretty apt metaphor for our education system: A plane making an emergency landing dumped jet fuel all over three LA-based schools.

IN LOCAL NEWS: Proud "Proud Boy" member Tusitala "Tiny" Toese pled guilty in court yesterday to charges of assaulting a Portland man in 2018. Our Blair Stenvick and Alex Zielinski have the details.

For those still fearing SNOWPOCALYPSE 2020: Expect some light snow today which will turn into rain this afternoon.

In case you missed it, IT DIDN'T REALLY SNOW MUCH YESTERDAY, despite the failed magical attempts of a local fourth grader who went to great lengths to get school cancelled. Our Wm. Steven Humphrey has this special report. (Hey, that's me.)

YOU'VE HAD SOME WEIRD DATES, RIGHT? Well turn that experience into cold, hard cash by telling the Mercury your wildest online dating story. The best, craziest story wins 300 bucks!

Now let's peep skyward at today's WEATHER: Showers mixed with some snow today with a high of 39.

And finally, I think this dog is a good role model for you today.