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Potential John Bolton testimony is pushing McConnell back into his shell.
Potential John Bolton testimony is pushing McConnell back into his shell. Alex Wong / Getty News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Take off what you cherish most (come on, come on). 'Cause when I brag, I like to brag and boast. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

And as usual, IMPEACHMENT NEWS: A wrinkle named John Bolton has thrown a wrench into Senate Majority Turtle Mitch McConnell's corrupt plans to hold an impeachment trial without witnesses, and currently the GOP is scrambling to make sure they have enough votes to insure that Bolton—who saw and heard everything—never testifies. And how does Trump feel about all this? He's going insane, of course, doing everything he can to slander Bolton.

Today in "World War 6":

In the meantime, we've reached the questioning phase of the Impeachment hearing, where senators submit written questions to the prosecution and defense, to be read by Chief Justice Roberts. As you can imagine, this too will be a goddamn circus.

Trump and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu unveiled an Israeli-Palestinian peace plan that looks more like (surprise!) a path to each of their respective reelections.

British Airways has suspended all flights to China and Americans are evacuating the country as the Coronavirus continues to spread.

The helicopter that crashed with Kobe Bryant and his daughter lacked a recommended warning system that some think may have avoided the tragedy.

Facebook is going out of its way to stalk you—even when you're not on the app. If for some stupid reason you're not ready to burn Facebook and salt the earth, for the love of god, at least change your privacy settings!

Just putting this in because I adore Jerry.

IN LOCAL NEWS: Day one of the Jeremy Christian trial got off to a disturbing start with prosecutors describing the MAX train stabbings, causing shaken onlookers to leave the courtroom. As our Alex Zielinski reports, the defense made the claim that Christian was "acting in self-defense" when he committed the stabbings. Meanwhile the prosecution revealed disturbing things that Christian allegedly said to police shortly after being arrested.


Prosecution will continue to call witnesses today, stay tuned for more details.

A new bill in the Oregon legislature would allow pharmacists to prescribe HIV prevention drugs. Our Blair Stenvick has more!

In Seattle, Amazon employees are PISSED and speaking out against the company's failures in regards to climate change and censorship.

Oh, and hey! Catch up on the latest FOOD & DRINK NEWS—which includes the untimely and mysterious death of the popular Stoopid Burger.

YOU'VE HAD SOME WEIRD DATES, RIGHT? Well turn that experience into cold, hard cash by telling the Mercury your wildest online dating story. The best, craziest story wins 300 bucks! DEADLINE IS THIS FRIDAY, FEB 31!

Now let's whip our heads skyward for today's WEATHER: Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain. High of 49.

And finally, here's the trailer for the new Fast and the Furious movie.