- Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Today’s the day to blow shit up and call it patriotism! And here’s a comprehensive list of places to do that. America!
Weed the People, the Mercury‘s historic pot party, drew record crowds yesterday… and the Oregonian came to take some pictures. All the Merc staffers were probably too stoned. And what’s this? The Guardian flew in all the way from England to do a story on Weed the People as well! Pip, pip, and tally ho!
Being a bigot is expensive! Those assholes who used to own the now-closed Sweet Cakes by Melissa in Gresham have to pay $135,000 to the lesbian couple they refused to bake a wedding cake for. Just desserts is right.
While you’re celebrating today, keep in mind that for 12 years the US government tested nuclear weapons in the remote Pacific. When they were done, they just left all their radioactive garbage—111,000 cubic yards of it—and now the dome it’s concealed under is failing, leaching radioactivity into the soil around it. America!
Bernie Sanders, Vermont Senator and Presidential hopeful, wants to save America. Here’s a great read on his revolutionary roots.
Stoners in Colorado are pushing to be allowed to bring weed into bars for consumption. Let’s make this happen Oregon stoners. Colorado is constantly kicking our ass on this weed stuff.
Cats are plotting to take over the world, and they’re starting with mice. Science says evil felines use their urine to control mice’s minds. Evil kittehs. But cats got nothin’ on these worms…
This hermaphrodite flatworm reproduces by using it’s needle-like penis to inject sperm into its own head. Talk about a mindfuck. Enjoy your breakfast, everyone.
And in one last bit of gross news, the sister of accused mass murderer Dylann Roof, who slaughtered nine churchgoers in June, tried to crowdfund her wedding, which was scheduled for June 21, four days after the massacre and Emanuel AME church. Best part of this story: One donation was made under the name “American BlackLivesMatter,” according to the news story. “Here’s $9 for the Nine Victims of the Charleston, SC, Church Massacre,” it said.
America!
Did anyone at the Mercury watch the video in the blog to the end? Because about 2/3s of the way through, it stops being an interview with college students about Independence Day and it starts calling the Obama administration tyranical and blasting the media as being government run. Seriously, either someone didn’t do their job, or the Mercury is getting pretty… out there.