Good Morning, News: Blazers Win Six, Sanders Calls Out Trump, and Hillbillies Cost Us $3.3 Million

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Know just what you lookin’ at, a certified young G. All you know is I be out here ballin’ like a freak. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Well, the Malheur Wildlife Refuge is finally back in the hands of the US Fish & Wildlife Service, now that the FBI has finished processing the mess (AKA evidence) left behind by the Y’all Qaeda militants.

So how much did those gun-totin’ ignorant hillbillies cost us for their occupation? So far a whopping $3.3 million—but there’s more to come.

A small group of protesters gathered in front of the downtown Apple store yesterday to protest the FBI trying to force the company to break into the San Berardino shooter’s iPhone.

Yahoo, the Blazers win their 6th straight in a row, taking down the Nets 112-104!

Watch and laugh as the GOP crap their pants, because Donald Trump handily took the Nevada caucuses thereby putting him solidly in the first position and making it nearly impossible at this point for anyone else to catch up.

Meanwhile Senate Republicans are still threatening to violate the constitution by blocking President Obama’s nominees from the Supreme Court. Really, Republicans? EVEN THIS GUY?

Here’s what Bernie Sanders had to say about that situation:

“What you are seeing today in this Supreme Court situation is nothing more than the continuous and unprecedented obstructionism that President Obama has gone through” at the hands of Republicans, the Vermont senator said.

“This is on top of the birther issue, which we heard from Donald Trump and others, a racist effort to try to delegitimize the president of the United States,” Sanders continued.

Sanders said his father came from Poland but, “Guess what? Nobody has asked for my birth certificate. Maybe it’s the color of my skin, I don’t know.”

A federal judge believes Hillary Clinton and State Department officials should be questioned under oath about the candidate’s private email scandal.

Nike’s Phil Knight is giving $400 million to a Stanford program determined to solve “increasingly complex challenges facing the world” like poverty and climate change.

Ohhhhhhh, Jamie Foxx. In an unfortunate choice of words, he said that black actors need to “#actbetter” if they want to win Oscars.

Now let’s look at the WEATHER outside: Slightly cloudy with a high of 58, and clearer skies in the days ahead.

And finally, this is the way I always end my arguments—by putting my foot in my mouth.