GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I pray you give me strength to carry on. ‘Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams. LET’S GO TO PRESS.
Portland City Council gears up today to consider restrictions on fossil fuel transport—and they could turn out to be the strongest in the nation.
In regional elections, Coos County voters easily passed a gun-lovin’ “Second Amendment Preservation Measure,” because… you know… cowards will be cowards.
Chipotle says it’s moving “aggressively” to contain the E. coli outbreak that has sickened at least 37 people, by closing 43 of their restaurants.
Can’t imagine the voters of Coos County will like this much, but Hillary Clinton has pledged to put gun control at the forefront of her campaign.
In other hillbilly news, voters in Houston shot down an anti-discrimination ordinance that would have afforded more rights to the LGBTQ community—because hillbillies were terrified that men would be forced to use women’s bathrooms? GET YER SQUIRREL RIFLE, CUZ AH’M ABOUT TO PANIC!!
Meanwhile in Ohio, voters there said “hell no” to legalizing medical and recreational cannabis… primarily because of the ballot’s wording that suggested the possibility of “marijuana monopolies.”
It’s #NationalStressAwarenessDay Thank you, I’m very aware of how stressed out I am.
— Gideon Klein (@GideonKlein) November 4, 2015
Could Bill Cosby finally be facing sex assault charges? An election in suburban Philadelphia might make it possible.
More trouble for VW, who has admitted to finding “irregularities” in their cars’ CO2 emissions—which could cost them billions.
In Egypt, Uber will start giving their drivers classes in how NOT to sexually harass women. DEAR… GOD.
Director Quentin Tarantino says he refuses to be cowed by police union threats to boycott his upcoming film, The Hateful Eight.
“And their message is very clear,” he continued. “It’s to shut me down. It’s to discredit me. It is to intimidate me. It is to shut my mouth, and even more important than that, it is to send a message out to any other prominent person that might feel the need to join that side of the argument.”
Jeb “JEB!” Bush apologizes to France for accusing them of laziness—but even his apologies are fucking stupid.
Let’s check in on the area’s WEATHER situation: Enjoy today’s dry spell (with a high of 55) because this weekend is gonna be WET.
And finally, here’s Jimmy Fallon, Meghan Trainor, and Alanis Morisette doing an all chicken-clucking version of “Ironic.” Yeah, I’m not sure why things like this exist either.
