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Stay up to date on Portland news and politics. Looking for fun? Here are the best Things to Do in Portland today.

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GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! While he was scheming, I was beamin’ in the Beamer just beamin’. Can’t believe that I caught my man cheatin’, so I found another way to make him pay for it all. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Today schools across Oregon (and the nation) are walking out to pay tribute to the 17 people murdered in Parkland, and to show Trump, the GOP, and NRA their reign is quickly coming to an end.

Investigators are still looking into the cause behind Monday’s scrapyard fire that drove thousands from their homes in Northeast—but the scrapyard owner definitely thinks the blaze was “suspicious.”

While some votes still need to be counted, Pennsylvania Democrat Conor Lamb is declaring victory against Rick Saccone in a congressional race in a district that swung 20 percent to Trump in the 2016 election. This is bad, bad, BAAAAAD news for the president and the GOP which they rightly see as a harbinger of doom for the 2018 midterms.

Physicist Stephen Hawking, whose theories on black holes and the origin of the universe made him one of the most beloved scientists of his generation, has died at the age of 76.

Britain has kicked out 23 Russian diplomats in retaliation for the nerve-agent poisoning of an ex-spy and his daughter.

Trump has chosen Gina Haspel to run the CIA (when Mike Pompeo hops over to the Secretary of State position). Unfortunately, Haspel may not be the best choice since she ran a black site prison that tortured suspects.

You know how America has an “Air Force”? Well, Trump wants a “Space Force.” Like, “outer space force.” 🙁

Here’s a pertinent headline for national gun walkout day: “Gun-trained teacher accidentally discharges firearm in Calif. classroom, injuring student.”

A friend of Stormy Daniels has confirmed the adult film star’s affair with the president, saying she listened in on some of their phone calls. “The only thing I ever heard him do is just babble like he always does,” the friend said.

Now we can’t forget about the WEATHER: Only the occasional shower today with a high of 54.

And finally, if you haven’t seen this gorgeous Miyasaki-inspired ad for Travel Oregon, prepare to be blown away. It is literally the greatest thing this state has ever produced and we will never do anything better, so everybody GO HOME. We’re shutting the state down.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)