GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I wear diamonds on my fingers. I got a couple on my toes. I wear the finest perfume money can buy. It keeps me smellin’ like a rose. LET’S GO TO PRESS.
A man was shot yesterday on the waterfront at the Cinco de Mayo festival—but was not critically injured. A suspect is in custody.
President Obama is visiting Portland on Thursday and Friday, and the Oregonian is very concerned how it will affect traffic—because that’s the most important thing, right? (Oh, and that’s all KGW cares about, as well as KATU. WHAT KIND OF COUNTRY HAVE WE BECOME?)
Reparations time! (Well, kind of.) Chicago will pay victims—almost all African American men—$5.5 million for the crimes committed by an abusive cop team (called the Midnight Crew) who tortured and harassed people in the ’70s and ’80s.
Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake has asked the feds to investigate their police department after the murder of African-American Freddie Gray.
An NYPD cop who was shot in the head has died, and the police commissioner blames “anti-cop sentiment” for his death. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t thought about this enough.
California adopts its first mandatory cuts in water usage, requiring some communities to cut down by 36 percent, thanks to a drought that’s continued for four years.
Investigators say the co-pilot of the Germanwings flight that was purposefully crashed into a mountainside had rehearsed his deadly descent.
The White House says it’s too soon to say if ISIS was behind the attack on a group of Texans who put on a contest to parody Muhammad.
In very good news, according to a poll Florida Governor Jeb Bush is trailing most of the Republican contenders in Iowa. HA. HA. HA.
Now here’s what’s going on in your neck of the woods: Showery today and cool, but another warm sunny stretch lies ahead!
And finally, here’s the HONEST TRAILER™ for 50 Shades of Grey. It’s funny because it’s true!
