GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I need a hit. Baby, give me it. You’re dangerous. I’m loving it. LET’S GO TO PRESS.
Thirty-one senators, including Oregon’s own Jeff Merkley, has agreed to back President Obama’s nuclear deal with Iran, claiming that it’s “the best available strategy to block Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon.”
President Obama is renaming Mt. McKinley, giving America’s highest peak its original Native American name back, Denali.
Forget about Mexico! Governor (and presidential wannabe) Scott Walker likes the idea of building a wall to keep out Canadians! (Apparently they keep bringing “niceness” into the country.)
ISIS continues to damage ancient antiquities. (They’re kind of like the “Donald Trump of the Middle East.”)
Andy Parker, the dad of the Virginia reporter shot live on air last week, has doubled down on his efforts for gun control legislation.
More manufactured drama at the annual MTV VMAs: Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus went “Nyahh, nyahh, nyahh” at each other, while Kanye West went on another of his rambling, 10 minute speeches in which he proclaimed he was going to run for president. (An obvious joke… but even he would be less of a joke than Trump.)
Kanye’s running for President! Gonna build giant statues of himself between us and Mexico.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) August 31, 2015
Speaking of Trump, he could be in a whole mess of legal trouble from former students of “Trump University”—which allegedly didn’t provide much of an education at all.
Don’t eat fake Viagra! That is all.
Now let’s hear about this WEATHER we’ve been having: Cloudy with a 50 percent chance of rain today, and a high in the mid-70s.
And finally, a video montage of Russia’s Vladimir Putin pumping iron, eatin’ steak, and sippin’ tea! FUCK YEAH!!!
My only question is: yeah, but can Putin hit the three like Obama can?
Hope Snowden enjoys these clips.