GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Like a honey bee, you took the best of me. Now I can’t erase those memories. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Partly in thanks to the amazing hat trick performed by Carli Lloyd, the US Women’s Soccer Team took home the World Cup yesterday in a thrilling 5-2 victory against Japan. That’s the first cup since 1999! BOOM SHACKA-LACKA BOOM!

Oh, and then there was this, too! Yummy!

More soccer celebration as the Timbers took down the San Jose Earthquakes Sunday night in stoppage time with a score of 1-zip.

In Portland, there was another officer-involved shooting (the second in a week) early Sunday morning, where the suspect was shot and an officer was stabbed. Stay tuned for more details.

Mexico is really, really mad at Donald Trump. (FYI, if you guys want to start a war with him? Nobody in America will kick about it.)

So far I hadn’t heard any real horror stories about the 4th of July… that is until I read about this guy who died instantly after shooting fireworks off the top of his head.

In a somewhat related story, a Texas man mocks an alligator… and can you guess what happened next?

More troubles for Reddit as a moderator revolt calls for the head of CEO Ellen Pao after what they are calling the unjustified firing of manager Victoria Taylor. (Would you guys do that for me? Wait. Don’t answer that question.)

I don’t know, guys… I’m liking the cut of this Bernie Sanders fella’s gib!

The South Carolina legislature is getting close to almost being kinda (but not quite yet, but almost) ready to debate taking down their Confederate flag.

At the Daytona 500 this weekend, some NASCAR fans flew Confederate stars ‘n’ bars—even after the organization asked them not to.

It was a bloody weekend in Chicago where seven people were killed—including a 7-year-old boy.

Get caught up with the whole Greek financial crisis… in two minutes.

Rest in peace, Burt Shavitz—of Burt’s Bees products—who has passed away at the age of 80.

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are apparently married now—if that is a thing anyone in the world could possibly care about.

Now let’s see what’s happening in the world of WEATHER: Oh, what a shocking surprise! It’s gonna be hot again with a high of 95, and this trend will continue until at least Friday.

And finally, let’s revisit that amazing first 16 minutes of yesterday’s World Cup Final and all those great goals scored by Carli Lloyd! OMIGOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=avahQTVf0AM

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

2 replies on “Good Morning, News: Omigod I Love Carli Lloyd So Much, Omigod Omigod Omigod!”

  1. I watched the game, and it had its’ moments, but I still assert that soccer is an inferior sport to the ones’ we already have.
    Great Job Girls. Well done.

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