[Eds. Note: There was a misunderstanding, and it turned out both Shelby and I wrote GMN today. They take a while to compile and write, so rather than just throw away all that effort, we’re running both.- DVH]
A reader last week sent photos of what appear to be alarmingly large chunks of concrete missing from a column on the new Sellwood Bridge to the Oregonian, but Multnomah County, apparently used to crumbling bridges, says everyone needs to just chill.
The U.S. Forest Service announced the Northeast Portland man who died last Thursday in an explosion near on U.S. Hwy 26 near Mt. Hood committed suicide. Jeffery Rodger Williams, 24 died when a “substantial” amount of material that target shooters use for practice exploded. Oregon Medical Examiner Dr. Karen Gunson said investigators were “lucky enough” to find fingerprints, “and we had enough of the hands to do a fingerprint analysis” to determine Williams’ identity. Investigators also found gun fragments at the scene.
Arnold Schwarzenegger turned Reddit user “Gnashbrowns‘” day into the Best. Day. Ever. when he gave the sad, scrawny 19-year-old a pep talk.
“I put the bar and the weights in their places, and left with my head hanging low. I know everyone experiences failure once in a while, but having it served to me firsthand coupled with people laughing just destroyed my confidence,” Gnashbrowns grumbled to his fellow online gym rats.
Without a hint of irony, the philandering muscleman-turned-actor-turned-politician replied, “I always say don’t be afraid of failure, because how far can you really fall?”
Probably that was a rhetorical question.
There’s GOLD in them thar commodes … and it might save the environment! A disgusting study by the U.S. Geological Survey found that every time you take a crap you’re making your very own “minimal mineral deposit” that could be worth millions, according to a separate study released by Arizona State University. Not only is it valuable, but extracting the precious metals from your not-so-precious biosolids could cut down on the toxic chemicals that leach into the ground from sewage. Enjoy your breakfast!
With the supply of lethal injection drugs running low in several states, Utah Gov. Gary R. Herbert made sure to keep the spirit of ‘Merica! alive by signing a bill that allows death by firing squad for some lucky inmates. But ONLY if the drugs that sometimes cause extreme suffering when administered aren’t available, so that’s comforting.
Turns out that a willingness to be abused by customers and live below the poverty line isn’t enough to secure applicants a job at a fast food restaurant, now bosses are using computers and algorithms to judge if a job candidate’s voice is the “right fit” for flipping burgers.
Australian scientists discovered evidence of the largest asteroid impact ever recorded. Investigators found two scars, each “more than 190km long and 30km deep,” which translates to about 118 miles long and about 18 miles deep, according to the Googles.
A Bend woman is being sued by Motley Crue frontman Vince Neil, so she’s doing what any red-blooded American who thinks she can wring money from a washed-up rocker would do: She’s suing him right back! Bend TV station, KTVZ, posted this strange video and story, which seems to say that “Bend mom and social media consultant Kristy Sinsara” used to run Neil’s social media EMPIRE, but he decided he wanted his valuable Facebook password back, so he sued her. Sinsara just can’t believe the nerve, so she wants $1 million from Neil for damaging her untarnished reputation. Seems legit. Of course, Sinsara also claims this is all about a girl (it always is), namely, Neil’s girlfriend, Rain Hannah. Of course.
Wanna name They Might Be Giants‘ next song? You can! Slate‘s “The Gist” host Mike Pesca enlisted his listeners to submit ideas to the #NotAMovie Challenge. “They Might Be Giants have always wanted to write movie themes,” so they want listeners to “tweet titles of imaginary movies to @slategist using the hashtag #NotAMovie.” So far the band’s favorite #NotAMovie title was “To Cleaver By Half,” submitted by Pesca. You can listen to the show here (the pertinent part starts around the 15:00 mark).
I think a firing squad is more humane than a lethal injection. Although if the executionee has done something bad to deserve to die for it, then I don’t really care. Here come the dislikes and I don’t care. That’s the way I feel.