BIG NEWS, everyone! The Trib‘s figured out how to solve homelessness! It was right in front of us the whole time: Just give the cops more leeway to scatter and arrest homeless people! Seriously, in a lengthy article, with just the briefest mention of the fact that there aren’t anywhere near the resources to get Portland’s homeless off the street, the paper bemoans a crippled police force, left to watch as people live outdoors. It actually says this: “The unpredictable policing of the homeless flies in the face of current criminal justice thinking… Research has shown that quality-of-life offenders especially are less likely to re-offend if they receive consequences that are swift and certain.” So just cite and arrest, and these people will find homes and jobs, lickety split!
In better news: That squatter who was living in a SE Hawthorne home—maybe kicking it with a corpse, maybe not—before tying himself to a monkey puzzle tree and posting up on the roof to prevent the home’s demolition yesterday finally came down. And he wasn’t even arrested. No word on what became of that goat that was on scene.
Speaking of corpses, one found in Marion County wilderness last year was that of a notorious creep who’d tried to abduct two young women from Portland in 2010. He’d gone into hiding after they got away, and didn’t turn up until hunters found his body.
Why’d Oregon City’s manager get the ax earlier this week? Apparently partly because he’d relayed an instance of Romanian racism a little too comfortably for the OC police officers he was telling about “lazy” black people.
News flash! Weed’s legal but it’s not good for you. News flash!
American Airlines is sorry it kicked a Gresham woman off its plane for apparently no reason.
“Dark money” and Super PACs are all well and good (actually they’re killing American democracy) but they’re not gonna save a candidate who can’t convince everyday voters to support their cause. That’s why Republican candidates like Rick Perry and Scott Walker have had to ditch their presidential hopes, why Republicans besides Donald Trump is sort of sweating it, and why Democratic candidates are far better off by comparison.
The Texas clock kid? Fast friends with Sudan’s war criminal president, the same guy who’s apparently stomped on his father’s political ambitions multiple times. Do your thing, Texas clock kid.
Obamacare’s gonna grow next year, as anticipated! Just, you know, by only the teensiest fraction of actual expected growth. Obama administration officials have had to dramatically revise their predictions for who;ll sign up, as the realities of the Affordable Care Act become clearer.
Karaoke Friday’s in fullest effect!