GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Just bought a new pair and they scuffed your shoes, tell me what’cha gonna do? Act a fool. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

If you missed it yesterday, do not skip this story:

At least one criminal investigator with the Oregon Department of Justice began looking into Oregonians who used the hashtag #blacklivesmatter on Twitter at some point in the last year. Now, a host of civil rights, labor and civil liberty groups are calling for an independent investigation of the department, and Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum claims she’s “outraged” and is agreeing that the practice amounts to “profiling.”

A city council member in Dallas, Oregon is busted for putting on his public Facebook page that the Islamic faith is “pure evil” and comparing Muslims to Hitler.

Hey, did you like that drenching Halloween rainstorm? Hope so, because you’re getting another one this weekend.

In last night’s Republican debate, Donald Trump and Ben Carson were nearly overshadowed by more mainstream candidates such as Rand Paul and Marco Rubio.

Speaking of Trump, he’s jumping on those idiot Christians’ bandwagon by calling for a boycott of Starbucks because of their “anti-Christmas” cups.

Several women MPs in New Zealand were ejected from a session of Parliament after proclaiming they were victims of sexual assault. The prime minister ruled their declarations out of order, and things got very ugly from there.

Police at the University of Missouri have arrested a suspect who they say made online threats against faculty and black students—including “I will shoot every black student I see.”

More cop trouble, this time at the University of Alabama where police investigating a fight drag students out of their apartment, strike them repeatedly with batons, and use stun guns on them.

A week after Airbnb vowed to strike back against municipalities that dared to try and control their business, now they’re promising to pay their fair share of local taxes.

Now let’s think about the WEATHER: A dry cool day lies ahead with a high of 50.

And finally, it has now become apparent that PIZZA RAT is a bonafide celebrity, and no longer gives a single fuck.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)