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Ciara shares Goodies with Portland.
Ciara shares “Goodies” with Portland. YouTube

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I may run and hide when you’re screamin’ my name, alright. But let me tell you now, there are prices to fame, alright. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Portland’s Independent Police Review board has serious criticisms to make about the way local cops handle protests—and another big protest is right around the bend. We’ll be watching this one closely.

Oregon has its own water crisis, and Governor Brown has issued a state of emergency for three counties.

I adore this very dire Oregonian headline: “E-scooters likely coming to Portland this summer, with no guarantee of future.” Guys, Portland’s not even going to be around this summer!

ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Pop star Ciara—who created one of the greatest songs of our time—announced she will be investing in Portland’s Major League baseball team! (Oh, some other dude named Russell Wilson is chipping in as well, who cares.)

The national unemployment rate has dropped again, making it the lowest since 2000. Media outlets are reminding us that Trump broke protocol by announcing the news early—but that is probably the least corrupt thing he’ll do today.

Trump is in a pardoning mood, granting a pardon to campaign finance violator Dinesh D’Souza, and is considering doing the same for corrupt former Illiniois Gov. Rod Blagojevich and… Martha Stewart? I think she’s doing okay. Anyway, this is just his secret code for letting anyone that runs afoul of Mueller know that they’ll receive a “get out of jail free” card.

Let us not forget that the death toll in Puerto Rico from Hurricane Maria reportedly topped 4,600—and it could be more.

The US Attorney’s office has interviewed former FBI chief James Comey in an attempt to learn whether his then-deputy Andrew McCabe misled investigators.

Headlines that make you go “HMMMMM”: “Signs of sophisticated cellphone spying found near White House, U.S. officials say.”

In possibly the most infuriating story you’ll read all day, Gregory Hill, a Black man in Florida, was fatally shot inside his own home by cops, and “the jury awarded $4 in damages to Hill’s family, with $1 going towards funeral expenses and $1 going towards each of Hill’s three children for their loss.” You read that correctly.

Comedian Samantha Bee has apologized for calling Ivanka Trump the c-word on her show, and racists (like Trump) are wrongly equating it with racist Roseanne Barr’s recent firing.

MSNBC’s Joy Reid is taking some heat for some of her old blog posts.

Basketball story! If you’re interested.

And now… the WEATHER: Mostly sunny today with a high of 70, and a very nice Saturday indeed!

And finally, this Japanese playground is a little… ummm… AGGRO, don’t you think?

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)