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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Can you pay my automo-bills? If you did then maybe we could chill. I don’t think you do, so you and me are through. LET’S GO TO PRESS.
Trump is still under the wildly mistaken impression that he can declare a national emergency in order to fund his racist border wall. In fact, he’s thinking about diverting funds from disaster-stricken places like Puerto Rico and California to pay for his sick dream. HA-HA-HA, THE COURTS MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT.
Even Trump’s most fierce supporters in the Freedom Caucus think that the president’s current plan is a bunch of baloney.
While this will not surprise you in the least, Trump is now claiming that he never said Mexico would pay for his racist wall—unfortunately for him, we all have the receipts.
The GoFundMe campaign to build Trump’s wall just hit $20M
The decorated veteran behind the viral effort has crafted his persona as a conservative, altruistic public figure, but people who’ve worked with him say he can be vengeful and shady with donationshttps://t.co/OSMJD0L3r7
— Brianna Sacks (@bri_sacks) January 11, 2019
Well, it’s taken long enough, but Trump supporters (especially in the farm belt) are starting to turn against their dark lord and master. Unsurprisingly, their disappointment only began when their own welfare was threatened.
Things are getting dire for some unpaid federal workers who, after missing a paycheck, are being forced to sell their personal belongings on Craigslist. And while federal employees across the nation are experiencing increasing pain from the shutdown, Black workers are being disproportionally affected.
Get out the popcorn, Trump criminal crony Michael Cohen has agreed to testify in front of congress and give a “full and credible account” of his work with his former boss. Hee-hee-heeeeeee.
Apparently Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez isn’t just pissing off and schooling old-timey Republicans—she’s rubbing a few old-timey Democrats the wrong way as well. TOO BAD, SO SAD.
To quote Alan Moore: “None of you understand. I’m not locked up in here with YOU. You’re locked up in here with ME.” 🤣 https://t.co/8TCmKNJlkD
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) January 11, 2019
A 13-year-old Wisconsin girl has been found alive, three months after her parents were murdered and she disappeared. A suspect is in custody.
IN LOCAL NEWS: You may have heard of the local journalist who’s connected to Ristretto Coffee and has spouting some very terrible bullshit about victims of sexual assault. Ristretto has been trying to play down that connection, but our Alex Zielinski talked with an employee who provides very good reasons why her connection to the company matters.
Portland air traffic controllers are affected by the Trump shutdown as well, and are currently staying on the job even after receiving paychecks that amount to $0.
Another potential victim of the Trump shutdown? Oregon domestic violence shelters. Our Blair Stenvick has the story.
Now let’s look skyward to the WEATHER: Partly sunny and dry today (for a goddamn change) with a high of 50.
And finally, a man breaks open a telephone and is surprised by what he finds. (I’m pretty sure if you busted open my head, you’d find the exact same thing.)
