Hey Occupy Portland people!

You know those guys over there sitting in the street, refusing to get up? There are two possible reasons why they’re there: 1) They are assholes who just want to fuck shit up. A distinct possibility. 2) Or maybe… You haven’t given them anything to do.

See, I get it that you guys don’t want to make any demands, or stifle anyone’s right to free speech. That’s fine. However, as my mom used to remind me, “Idle hands are the devil’s laundromat.” She would get confused sometimes, but you get her point: People with useful things to do get into much less malicious mischief (unless they’re the aforementioned a-holes who just want to eff ish up).

There are a poop ton of people in the city supporting you that don’t have the time or inclination to camp out for three months. They are depending on YOU to lead them and give them ideas on how they can make changes to our corrupt, fucked up system. For example, organizing noon-time rallies in Pioneer Square with guest speakers that can explain how Wall Street has ruined America, and suggested things we can do to stop them. Telling people to switch from their big banks to credit unions. Organizing weekend mini-marches or bike rides. Make art, slogans, and put up fliers around town. YOU have the time, and the people-power to do this. And I bet (hope) those people sitting in the street can help you.

Put them to work. If they still want to fuck shit up, quit being nice, and kick them out. Your (our) reputation depends on it.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

18 replies on “Occupy Portland Suggestion Box: Put Those Street Sitters to Work”

  1. ‘They are depending on YOU to lead them and give them ideas on how they can make changes to our corrupt, fucked up system’

    No, we already busy doing our own work supporting ourselves and them.

    That’s why we’re not lying in the streets whining.

  2. @D, the post is written to “Hey Occupy Portland People,” which I assume is an indication this is an open letter directly to the management of Occupy Portland.

    In other news, I agree with Steve.

  3. Work with the Parks Bureau and others to do some mad ivy pulls and parks cleanups. Think of other volunteer ops that would generate a rain of good publicity. Data entry for non-profits. Build an occupy temporary labor service. Win.

  4. Heck, maybe they could just clean up and restore that park when they finally leave, instead of expecting us all to take the cost out of the city budget.

  5. D, another in a long line of self-righteous internet commenters basking smugly in their good fortune that they’ve not yet been laid off and haven’t spent months or years trying to find work in a nation without nearly enough jobs to go around. People get fed up with not being able to find a decent job and try to do something about it, and all others can do is look down their noses at them for not having a job in the first place, as if it’s their own fault they’re one of the 20% who can’t find the work they want or the 10% who can’t find work at all. Such compassion.

  6. Is the news reporting so terrible about occupy Portland that people really think there is a management or leadership of the thing?!?!?

    There is none!

  7. @theterminizer “Good fortune that they haven’t been laid off?” No, D is right – the people who still have jobs worked for them. Here are the statistics from the US Department of Labor: http://www.bls.gov/emp/ep_chart_001.htm

    Unemployment rates are only 1.9% for people with doctorates, and 14.9% for people who didn’t graduate high school. There’s no “good fortune” involved in being employable. You have to MAKE yourself so, by getting skills that people will actually pay you for.

    Or, you know, you could sit in the street and whine because no one will pay you lots of money to do something easy.

  8. theterminizer – you have a lot of nerve trying to tell me about my ‘good fortune’ when you have no idea how I live.

    Your assumptions are as wrong as your facts.

    And no, I have no compassion for the petulant crybaby children lying in the street making many people’s struggling to survive – all while costing us more.

  9. @Reymont: statistics have to be interpreted carefully. Many people with doctorates are finding it near impossible to get the jobs that they were trained to do. I know some who have already defended their dissertations and are delivering pizzas, barely surviving.
    Or, you know, you can believe that people are unemployed or poor because they haven’t worked hard enough.

  10. @Geyser – You can believe the statistics from the US Department of Labor website that I already helpfully linked to for you.

    Or, you know, you could go by what some some friend of yours said.

    Having said that – I’m sure it’s totally possible to get a worthless doctorate. I DID say “skills that people will actually pay you for.”

  11. I think you’re intentionally ignoring my point: that someone with a PhD who is delivering pizzas and barely surviving is “employed” and thus not counted in that kind of unemployment statistics.
    I didn’t say anything about what “some friend of mine” said. I could easily present a really solid case that people with advanced degrees are in trouble, but why bother? It’s all over the press anyway, if you bother to read it, or not opportunistically pretend like it’s not there.

  12. the first step was gathering in the streets…
    the next step is taking it to the next level…that requires more long-term planning, and better organization

  13. @Geyser – OH! I did miss that point, sorry. You’re right, those stats don’t cover what kind or quality of employment those folks have.

    Still, if it did, I would think – based on no data, unfortunately – that higher levels of education would show the same strongly positive trend as is shown for income and employment levels. That seems a very basic and reasonable assumption.

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