UGGGHNNNHHH!! Why are you STUPID babies so fucking stupid?!? We give you one thing to do… ONE THING! And you fuck it up. Just stand there, look adorable in your stupid fucking tutus, and dance. And you can’t even do that righ… wait. OMG! The babies are fighting! YES! YES! YES! Beat the stupid out of each other, you stupid fucking ballet babies!!!

Awwww… C’MON!! WHY’D YA HAVE TO BREAK THEM UP???

https://youtube.com/watch?v=feM0KHDCUxo

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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