Hey! HEY! Stupid Baby! We give you ONE thing to do… JUST ONE THING! Carry the fruit bowl to your mom who’s supposed to get breakfast in bed for Mother’s Day. And what happens? You fuck it up! Jesus Chris! You stupid… STUPID baby!!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

One reply on “Stupid, Stupid Baby: Mother’s Day”

  1. Steven, did your Mommy and Daddy talk to you the way you write? If so, it explains a lot.
    BTW, who is Jesus Chris?

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