My continuing series about “teaching you how to do stuff” continues! Another thing a lot of you people have been saying in the comments is, “Hump. Nobody headbutts or elbowbutts better than you. WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?” Well, though I was originally planning to use a headbutt or elbowbutt on you—I’m feeling generous. But I’m NOT so generous to the honeydew melons I headbutt and elbowbutt in this instructional video! Want to learn how to properly head or elbowbutt? WATCH AND LEARN, SON! WATCH AND LEARN.
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey