On what is my last day as a highly regarded Mercury Intern, I’m hoping that by now you guys know how much I hate this little bitch and I hope, through my blog posts that started WAYYYY back in early October, you have grown to hate her too.
While this isn’t breaking news, I’m going to get you up to speed on what this little harlot has been doing since November 17th.
First off, did you guys know she totally looks up to Willow Smith…WTF!!?!? Steve will approve of that, I suppose. The Cruise and Smith bond is a strong one, so now that Willow is a pop star, Mademoiselle Cruise wants to be one too. BARF! Here’s what Socialite Life said about this atrocity.
Suri Cruise has her mother Katie Holmes up in arms now that she wants to be famous just like her BFF Willow Smith. The young fashionista now wants to add musician to her repetoire…Suri trails round after Willow whenever she sees her, revealed a family friend. She’s four going on eight and she knows exactly what she wants. She loves Willow’s song and is desperate to start getting in front of the camera herself.”
Dudes—fucking bitch has her own Credit Card! Popcrunch has this to say.
Suri is about to be introduced to a brave new world of high-end fashions and astronomical interest rates after receiving her first credit card as an early Christmas gift from Mommy and Daddy.
This is beyond disturbing to me. Where the fuck is she going to go that a person would actually let her pick something out, charge it, and sign for it? If I were working at a place she was shopping, I’d say, “Hey you annoying high-heel clad brat! Get the fuck out of my store, and tell your Dad he’s AWFUL!”
Plus, she gets to fly in a private jet with four of her friends!
Lastly did you guys know she has six—(6)—wardrobes (closets) for her pint-sized bitchy dresses, and small slutty kitten heels. From Now Magazine:
The four-year-old diva in the making, who counts Armani and Burberry as her favourite labels, has a whopping six wardrobes to house her clothes, which include a £1,300 D&G fur coat and a £1,800 pair of custom-made Louboutins, bought by Katie this summer.
She’s got all these expensive goods and massive amounts of clothes—and homegirl puts on a dress that’s three years old?!?
That’s it. I’m done.
Hasta la vista, buttfucker!
Tears.
Had to get *one* more in, eh? Hey, intern, leave them kids alone! Wait ’til she makes her tween music debut as Lady Susu in a few years…
Am sure they, the parents, are treating her as an experiment to create some sort of new human. Yes, I know how that sounds.
Yeah, she should lead a homegirl’s life of go get dad another beer and being passed around to give blowjobs to all of his crackhead friends.
Instead, she has a dad who believes in a religion based on the silliest sort of sci fi nonsense.
I’m not sure which is really worse.
(Okay, I do know, but still I can’t hate the child. I hate her cockamamie parents.)
This is mean.