“Hi, in case you forgot about me, my name is Suri Cruise and I’m a total bitch. Sometimes the media refers to my idiotic parents as “TomKat.” I can’t figure out what that means because I’m a stupid four-year-old that already has a credit card and an iPad despite the fact I can’t even tie my own shoes yet. No matter, why should I learn when I’ll always have my people around to do it for me?”
At least that’s what I imagine she would say. And then she would go on to say, “My lame ass parents took me to see The Nutcracker over the holidays because I love princesses and ballerinas. Yes, I am a completely unoriginal little girl. Anyways, I decided to wear this lavender Burberry dress with my pink Uggs. (Also unoriginal, right?! I mean pink and purple? I’m a little girl, it’s such an obvious color scheme!) And because I know how much people pay for pictures of me I decided to ruin the shot by not looking at the camera. Hahaha, whatever, I know it’s like a dream come true for most little girls to meet real live ballerinas from the New York Nutcracker but I was macking on some gummy bears, so fuck em’!”
Photo via Just Jared
How did they make Tom look so tall (or Katie so short)?
She knows how to look shorter than Tom as not to get beat up when the photo gets published.
Maybe there’s a secret scientology technique for stretching the body out to its maximum potential. You don’t know!
Uncle Sam stilts.
Apple boxes.
Can’t they put some pants on that bitch? What kind of tramp are they trying to raise?
@pork chop, I couldn’t have said it better myself!
@MS: Oh yeah, she’s gonna have serious back and knee problems someday from “scrunching down” all the time…