You ask a toddler to eat peas and carrots. The toddler agrees to eat peas, but not carrots. Both sides are happy with this compromise—until the toddler suddenly changes her mind, deciding she will neither eat peas or carrots. And in addition? She decides to burn down the house that contains the peas.

Does this remind you of anyone?

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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