Nick Kristof Credit: Ilya S. Savenok / getty images
Nick Kristof
Nick Kristof Ilya S. Savenok / getty images

Nick Kristof, the longtime New York Times opinion columnist, is probably running for governor of Oregon. From an OPB report yesterday:

On Tuesday, Kristof officially formed a political action committee, a move that will allow him to raise money and hire staff ahead of a likely official announcement of his candidacy.

…Beyond his fame as a Times columnist and author, Kristof in recent years has moved back to the Yamhill, Oregon, farm on which he grew up, and heโ€™s been working to reshape it into a vineyard and cider orchard.

If he does launch a campaign, itโ€™ll be in the Democratic primary, taking place May 2022. Based on his rhetoric and other reporting on the possible run, Kristof seems to think he can walk a middle line that will appeal to a majority of Oregonians: Heโ€™s a liberal in the true 2021 sense of the word, a champion of half-measures and white male saviorism. He has experience as both a New Yorker and a rural Oregon farm-dweller. Heโ€™s an old cishet white guy with good intentions, and damn it, when has one of those ever steered anyone wrong?

But let me back up a little, because Iโ€™m not writing this article to comment on Kristofโ€™s politics. Iโ€™m writing it with a simple ask of you, Reader: If I, Blair Stenvick, ever run for governor of Oregon, please do not vote for me.

Kristof and I are both journalists who love to share our opinions, so I think I can understand his impulse to become a politician on some level. If your job is to observe and research the worldโ€™s problems and then tell people how to fix them in the neat margins of a column space, then the notion that you have all the answers is a seductive one. In fact, the chance to let off some steam and tell people how things ought to be in a weekly Times column or a daily Good Morning, News post is a main selling point of the job. After all, it surely isnโ€™t the money, respect, or job security.

When youโ€™re doing your job as a journalistic commentator in its highest form, youโ€™re drawing new parallels, expanding the Overton Window, opening peopleโ€™s minds and also ensuring them they arenโ€™t alone in their frustrations with the status quo. When done at its most hacky, however, youโ€™re ranting at people, making leaps and assumptions that gloss over reality, casting yourself as omniscient genius, and generally just pulling real โ€œSir, this is an Arbyโ€™sโ€ shit. I think Kristof is probably capable of the former, but like anyone who gets paid a six-figure salary to write exactly one column a week at the national paper of record (no, Iโ€™m not bitter), heโ€™s also done a whole lot of the latter.

And the thing is, we really donโ€™t need another fucking sir-this-is-an-Arbyโ€™s political leader. We didnโ€™t need one before Donald Trump, or before Arnold Schwarzenegger won the California recall, or before a B-list actor named Ronald Reagan took office and dismantled the social safety net. We certainly donโ€™t need one now.

Itโ€™s easy to argue that Kristof at least has more expertise than those men, considering his job requires him to stay up on the news of the world. But you know who he doesnโ€™t have more expertise than? Oregon House Speaker Tina Kotek or Oregon State Treasurer Tobias Read, both of whom are already running in the Democratic primary. Ask yourself: What does Kristof have that those two lack? The answer: A national profile, and a mountain of yellowing newspaper columns about how the world should be.

I think that if Kristof genuinely cared about launching a career in public service, heโ€™d run for mayor of Yamhill, or a seat on the New York City council. But this potential campaign isnโ€™t about thatโ€”itโ€™s about his own ego. Itโ€™s about expanding the margins of his opinion column so wide that they envelop an entire state, one he hasnโ€™t lived in full-time for decades.

So anyway, where was I? Oh, right. If I ever get the notion that my Good Morning, News, blurbs qualify me to be the top executive of Oregon, please donโ€™t vote for me, even if my competitors are a couple of boring career politicians. Trust me, itโ€™ll be better for both of us.

Blair Stenvick is a former news reporter and culture writer for the Portland Mercury.

5 replies on “If I Ever Run for Governor, Please Don’t Vote for Me”

  1. Kristoff is obviously a twat, but if a “cishet white guy” characterized a group of PEOPLE as “those” there would hell to pay in the pages of this very paper. People are “them.”

  2. It’s a little bit embarrassing whenever the Mercury adds political commentary to its lineup of weed news, sex advice and reviews of their boyfriends’ band.

  3. It’s delicious that Kristoff is running for governor Oregon.

    He’s such an enormous embarrassment to the rest of us when he mentions he’s from Oregon in his column. I feel like I have spent my entire life apologizing for his existence as an Oregonian and trying to convince outsiders the rest of us are not the same shade of small minded bigot he has proven to be.

    Oregonians, in large part due to our troubled racial history are an enormously open minded decent people when it comes to the choices of other adults not like us make with their lives.

    The idea that this NYT church marm who makes Kipling’s “White Man’s Burden” blush by comparison to his own level of white savior complex is too much to stomach. Kristoff’s career of terrorizing sex workers to please his homophobic church group supporters is appalling. If he was running for the town in “Deliverance” I could see him having a bright future. But Oregon, with our history of tolerance? His deep and unresolved sexual issues around women having sex in ways he and his homophobic church groups like Exodus Cry doesn’t approve is not really what we are looking for. Otherwise, we would have elected someone from Pakistan as governor of the great state of Oregon.

    Look, he’s a fine Swanee Hunt pet and if you are looking for a guy with the moral values to lead women’s rights into the 17th century than sure, chronic pearl clutcher Kristoff is the right man to use the criminal system to punish adults for having sex in ways he doesn’t approve of.

    But Kristoff as governor in this century where women don’t still wear chastity belts, or need his personal approval about who they can have sex with? I’m just not seeing it.

  4. @3: Was this a swipe at Kristoff’s career of shallow moralism, or his ethical failures as a journalist?

    Kristoff supported the bombing of Libya, then never circled back to mention it again after things went terribly wrong.

    He pushed for the take down of Backpage, then said nothing when sex workers were pushed out onto the far more dangerous streets. He pushed the story of grifter somaly-mam so he could play the white savior, than did not change course once it was clear his false narrative around her lies was placing actual sex workers at greater danger.

    They guy is a deeply narcissistic scum bag who’s radical indifference to the consequences of his self promotion has left a trail if deal marginalized people in his wake.

    It will be an honor to vote against his as many times as I can in a single election.

Comments are closed.