The sad thing is that when I read this piece about John Boehner unequivocally stating that he believes Obama was born in the United States…
Despite Boehner’s reluctance to control the fringe elements of his party who believe that Obama wasn’t born in the United States, in his mind, he said, the matter is settled.
“The state of Hawaii has said that President Obama was born there,” Boehner said. “That’s good enough for me.”
..I wanted to publicly applaud him. And then I realized that this is the Republican way: My expectations have been so lowered by a bunch of screeching hate-mongers and the equivocating politicians who feed their flames of discontent with ambiguous statements that when a prominent Republican actually denies those far-fetched conspiracy theories, I want to congratulate him.
I am actually sort of excited about John Boehner’s speakership. Not because I agree with him on most things, but for other reasons:
-He is orange, and that is funny.
-He cries a lot. Also amusing.
-His name kind of sounds like “boner.”
-He has a comically large gavel.
-He now has the thankless job of now pounding said gavel whilst birther wingnuts shout loudly about the supposed foreign provenance of Pres. Obama’s birth, like he had to earlier this week.
-He also has to see Michelle Bachmann at work ever day, which could very possibly cause him to weep like a bucket of leaky sprinklers.
Will he be a particularly good speaker? Who knows. Probably not. But this should be sort of entertaining!
He also golfs a lot! Like 250 times a year.
Y’know, if the birthers could somehow prove that Hawaii NEVER REALLY BECAME A STATE, they could really have Obama by the balls. Have YOU seen Hawaii’s statezenship papers? It doesn’t even LOOK like the other states…just sayin’…
Just what we need a crybaby Oompa-Loompa as speaker of the house.