"WAIT... you ARE writing 'Willamette Week,' right?" Credit: Michael A. Freeman, Oddball Tattoo. Photo credit: Liz Devine

CALLING ALL BRAINIACS! It’s time to put your brainy-brain to the test with this edition of POP QUIZ PDX—our local, sassy-ass trivia quiz. And this week we’ll see how much YOU know about local spinning loaves of bread, the playoff-bound Blazers, and which completely regrettable tattoo you MUST put on your body. (Yes… worse than the regrettable tattoo you already have! 😬)

And by the way, how did you do on our last quiz? Dang, you never cease to impress! As for your majority answer on our “Subjective Question,” I simply cannot believe that YOU CANNOT BELIEVE that an evil ruler named Xenu sent billions of frozen aliens to earth, and then killed them in a volcano, after which the souls of these aliens (called “thetans”) attached themselves to humans (causing all sorts of psychological distress), and the only way to get rid of them is by being “audited” by a device called an “E-meter,” preferably administered by Tom Cruise, who can read minds. WHAT DOES A SCIENTOLOGIST HAVE TO DO TO CONVINCE YOU PEOPLE?!?

Anywaaaaaay… READY TO START? Take this week’s quiz below, take our previous pop quizzes here, and come back next week for a brand spankin’ new quiz! (Having a tough time answering this quiz? It’s probably because you aren’t getting Mercury newsletters! HINT! HINT!) Now crank up that cerebellum, because it’s time to get BRAINY!

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Did you enjoy that? Take our past Pop Quizzes HERE!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)