Portland Handbook 2019
Portland’s strip clubs and dancers get a lot of attention (and for good reason), but they aren’t the only ones producing great shows that involve sexy stuff! Check out this handy primer for some of Portland’s sex-based shows you should obviously be checking out.
The Mystery Box Show
This long-running, wildly entertaining storytelling show spotlights celebs and folks from all walks of life telling their true (sometimes embarrassing, often revelatory) tales of sexploration. Every brand of sexuality is celebrated! (Fri Sept 20, 9 pm, Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark, $20, w/ Risk!; Sat Oct 5, 7 pm, Alberta Rose Theater, 3000 NE Alberta, $22-57)
Burlesque at Crush Bar
Beloved, queer-friendly Crush Bar features not one, but TWO regular burlesque nights: Burlesque S’il Vous Plait is more your classic striptease fest, and the longest running burlesque show in town, while Burlescape! features slow, tantalizing strips from those spanning the gender spectrum. You can’t go wrong with either. (Burlesque S’il Vous Plait, first Fridays, 9 pm; Burlescape!, third Saturdays, 9 pm; Crush Bar, 1400 SE Morrison, $18-30)
Talkin’ Dirty with Shrista & AJ
Co-produced by the Mercury and top sex toy shop She Bop, Talkin’ Dirty pairs comedy and sex ed to hilarious and informative effect. Hosted by comedian Shrista Tyree and sex educator Amory Jane, this show features the funniest local comics along with sex educators giving demos on dirty talk, blowjobs, rough sex, and more! (Monthly, next show Thurs Sept 26, Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis, $15 at merctickets.com)
Longtime fans know BOYeurism as one of Portland’s hottest cabarets featuring lots of fun, exciting sexy times
like drag artists, circus performers, burlesque, dancers, musicians, and more! (And they insist on a diverse spectrum of gender, size, age, and color... just how you like it.) Their next big show is in October and is HORROR-themed, so dress appropriately, because you know they will. (Sat Oct 12, 8 pm, Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside, $20-200)
Dan Savage’s HUMP! 2019
America’s favorite homegrown five-minute porno fest
made by dirty birds like YOU. Every type of sexual appetite is represented, and the audience is packed with happy, squealing (and probably horny) people. Produced by the Mercury and our sister paper The Stranger! (Runs weekends Nov 8-23, Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark, $25 at humpfilmfest.com)
Whoopee! A Sex-Positive Variety Show
This sexy show has it all: hot performances, aerial magic, storytelling, comedy, AND amazing sex toy prize bags. Hosted by Amory Jane (sex educator, performer, co-host of Talkin’ Dirty with Shrista & AJ), the upcoming Saturday, September 28 show is an extra-special VIP event (with lots of sexy extras), so check out all the info on their Facebook page. (Location TBA, $50-75 at tickettailor.com)
50 Shades of STFU
Dubbed the “hottest femdom party in Portland,” this fun social networking night/kinky play party brings together femme tops and the subs who worship them, as well as being an inclusive space for pansexual and LGBTQ+ folk. (No gawkers, dress code enforced, and cis male doms need not apply unless you’re ready to switch it up.) Look to their Facebook page to educate yourself. (Thurs Sept 26, 8 pm, Sanctuary, 33 NW 9th, $10)
It’s pretty simple: Five stand-ups take the stage and tell jokes
but when the “stripmaster” rings a bell, the comedian must take off an article of clothing. I love a simple, sexy concept. (Last Friday of the month, 10 pm, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th, $8-50)
One of my personal fave sex educators, Stella Harris, is your guide for this hilarious live, interactive game show, where contestants complete challenges to win a date with an eligible “bachelorx,” and audience members are encouraged to forge love connections on their own! (And, yep, this show is “body positive, gender- and race-inclusive, and consent-focused.”) (Sun Oct 27, 8 pm, Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside, $12)
Filthy talk, $1 bingo cards, and sexy prizes. ‘Nuff said. (Every Tuesday, 8 pm, The Nest Lounge, 2715 SE Belmont, FREE)
A femme-owned fetish space designed for private play and kink education. They also provide lots of monthly classes for advanced kinksters and those just starting out. Check their website for what’s on tap. (Location revealed upon ticket purchase or confirmed appointment, subrosapdx.com)
Polyamorous and Open Speed Dating
In an open relationship (or looking to start one) and searching for other like-minded people? Check out this fun class/event from She Bop held at Club Privata, which includes flirting tips along with games intended to help match you with those of similar (read: couples, triads, and solo polyamorists) interests. (Fri Sept 13, 7 pm, Club Privata, 824 SW 1st, $25 single, $40 couple, other She Bop classes held every second Friday)
Be on the lookout for...
Melange: A Queer & POC Variety Show: A very popular (and sexy!) night featuring burlesque, music, and more, dedicated to the queer and POC community.
SEXXX PDXXX: Held regularly at the Paris Theater, with lots o’ drag, stripping, go-go dancers, and shenanigans. Perfect for “every body.”
She Bop Classes: While not performances per se, being educated on improving one’s sex life is surprisingly entertaining! Sex toy shop She Bop offers monthly classes on lots of topics, and all are highly recommended but they fill up quick, so don’t dilly or dally. More info at sheboptheshop.com/events.