It’s now 5:45 am and Merc general manager Katie just broke in the port-o-potty down the street. “It’s rare you get to use such a fresh honey bucket,” she rightly proclaimed.
After Matt, Alison and Erik were relieved at 3 am by Katie and boytoy Brian, the pair immediately began living the high-life, including french press coffee prepared on the grill. However, their plans for buttermilk pancakes and REAL Vermont maple syrup were dashed by the 5-0 who drove by and gave a wagging finger of disapproval at our flaming camp stove.
WHY THE MAN ALWAYS TRYING TO KEEP US DOWN?
The sun is finally up, parade goers are finally beginning to take their places on the curb, and… HEY!! THAT GUY ACROSS THE STREET HAS MAPLE BARS!
Katie and Brian: “Eff those maple bars… We got Pop Tarts, bitches!”
LAUGHING!!! The caption to that photo is priceless! 😀
Parade sucked this year because you scared everyone away with your stupid ass duct tape crap. I bet this was your first parade after moving to portland from Ann Harbor or somewhere totally hip because you guys are so totally cool and hip. Your pop tart caption is so funny and totally rad. You guys are so awesome and so much cooler than other people. I bet a lot of you are awesome artists. So cool. So smart and probably such hip wit. I bet you listen to really cool, underground music too. And comment on how much society sucks and read really interesting books.
Way to take a stand on something that really matter. Losers.
Jessica speakee good truth.
Hey this post os over 48 hours old. When are you hipsters going to post something new. Time waits for no blogger.
Sorry, Dave! We’ve been busy planning new ways to ruin Jessica’s life, and unpacking (it’s been nearly a year since we’ve moved from “Ann Harbor” and there’s still unpacked boxes in our kitchen)!
You “Ann Harbor-ites” think you’re so much better than us Protlanders.
I just moved here from Madison, Raliegh-Durham and/or Portland Maine. I was WAAAAY to awesome of an artist to live in any of those places.
Also, I’d never seen one of these “parades” before moving here and it was very enlightening to find out what they’re are all about. Wow, lots of marching bands! I’ll bet duct tape would have made it way more awesome but I’m not sure how.
Excuse me, I have to go to the basement now to listen to some music.
Nice. “Ann Harbor”, “Raliegh”. Retards!
oh my god, Ann Harbor is so totally hip and the fact that I am so much more hipper than other Ann Harborites made it a necessity to move to Portland. Man, if I had duct tape, I’d even be more cooler.
Hey Jessica… looking for a new bff?
I gotta say, I think Jessica’s post was hilarious. I get fed up with all the Portland hipsters as well.