DEAR GOD, YOU GUYS: They rolled up PDX Carpet*, put fake eyeballs on it, and made it Grand Marshal of the Starlight Parade!
That’s a real thing that happened today and you know now for sure that you live in the dorkiest city of all the land.
- koin.com
If you step back and just think objectively about what is happening here, it’s marvelously bizarre. I feel like it’s crossed a threshold. Also, we need more puppetry in civic life. Or do we?
*It’s PDX Carpet now, BTW, like a proper name. Not “the carpet.”
This is almost certainly the first Starlight Parade Grand Marshal who a couple of hippies from Idaho on layover have had sex on. (Can’t confirm that until after I check with Bud Clark.)
I groaned when I first saw this but after seeing it for four straight posts on facebook I’ve realized it’s so stupid I’m on board.
There’s some saying about truth, strangers and fiction … yeah, that.
Everyone in Portland: “Oh that show is so stupid, Portland’s not really like that”, and then this shit happens. At least give the googly-eyed gent a mouth.
No one wants to hear carpet talk pal.
No one wants to feel like they’re being watched by a rug to begin with, by the way.
Oh so the carpet HAS to be a man?! Take your gender-bias micro-aggression back to Camas!
Well, given recent events it was not a great idea to make an elected official the Grand Marshal as has been and is often the case…
This has forever negated the awesome honor in being appointed the Grand Marshal. May as Well Put a bird on it now.