While I was very upset about the departure of music editor Ezra Caraeff, as you may suspect, I was a little less upset about the departure of his pug Olive. Unfortunately, the staff has threatened an “Occupy Sit Around Reading Magazines” strike unless the office gets a new pug. (Apparently they haven’t gotten the memo that both pugs and corgis are stupid and passe.)
BUT FUCKING FINE, WHATEVER!!! Let’s just get another goddamn useless pug up in here so we can get back to work, okay?? That’s why I’m holding elections for the new Mercury pug, and here’s the first candidate: “Piano Pug.” After watching this video, you will be asked to vote and give a thumbs “up” or “down” to indicate whether this dog should go on to the Mercury Pug Finals. (I can tell you right now, this goddamn pug is getting a HUGE thumbs “down” from me! He has absolutely ZERO musical talent, dresses like shit, and then collapses in a fit of laziness at the end. Fuck this pug.)
I WANTED TO VOTE *DOWN SPARKLES* BUT THAT WASN’T AN OPTION.
I think my pug should be your new representative. Much like your staff, he enjoys napping, binge eating, and humping stuff.
MY PUGS CATCH MICE AND EAT CHARCOAL.
I nominate the Pug Bandit as the new office pug.
*Twinkles – Up* with the observation added that a Toy Poodle would have been playing some mean Bach on that piano.
Steve, he’d be great for office B-Day parties too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuU0oW_qSlY…
I would nominate my pug but his calling card is pooping in other people’s kitchens.
Where did you get this leak from the new Sufjan Stephens album?
I think you should consider Mercury Pekingese. The Pekingese is a far better breed of smash faced dog. Also, they have super powers and are not as gassy as pugs.
Steve – this one goes out to you amigo…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrIp3k5pJQM
I’d like to nominate my pug, Wally: http://youtu.be/0nYTxZ6OtMU