Jesus. Look at this fat fucking puppy. It’s so fat… IT CAN’T GET UP! Get up, you fat fucking puppy! Actually, don’t get up. Just roll around on your back until you lose some of that juicy blubber that’s keeping you down there in the first place. Then, when you finally do starve yourself down to a reasonable weight, you can get up, and start stuffing your fat fucking puppy face again, you fat fucking puppy. (Stop looking at me like that. You’re fucking fat, you fat fucking puppy.)
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Horribly funny and horribly sad at the same time. Poor lil’ brudder!
Is this post an example of proper commenting styles when replying to people on /b/town?
Only when applied toward puppies. (And maybe babies?)
With the supposed anonymity of the internet, is it safe for me to assume that everyone is either a puppy or a baby?
He is fat (the puppy), but pets only eat what you feed them. Usually. So, he’s been fed way too much. Time for some Frisbee chasing.
He is not fat.
I know it’s supposed to be a joke, but it makes me sad to see how much we humans have screwed up dogs by breeding them to be, essentially, non-functional. French bulldogs, like other brachycephalic breeds, are often unable to deliver puppies vaginally, requiring risky caesarean section births. They also have trouble even getting it on without human intervention, and are prone to a host of health problems caused by the selective breeding (and inbreeding) of dwarf bulldogs.
So, yeah. He’s not fat. He’s just been deformed by human intervention. 🙁
@TWSS…
But they’re so fucking cute!
Well TWSS, you’re right. We humans are responsible for breeding these strange-fuzzy-child-substitute-creature things. That’s why we invented the internet. So these pathetic creatures can be of some use to society. And that use is larfing. Lots of larfing.
Wm.™ Steven Humphrey you’re so lame for writing that. WTF??