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Oh, wait… they’re dressed. Never mind.

BUT WHILE I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION… why don’t you be a sweetheart, and scoot over to Questionland, where you can ask questions or leave answers on a wide variety of interesting topics? Here are some good questions, just waiting for smart answers from brainy people like yourself.

• How do I get the douches from the bowling alley to stop smoking weed next to my kid’s bedroom window?

• Best friend getting married next May. What do we do for her bachelorette party?

• I’ve decided I don’t want to do anything except race go-karts. Where are the best places in or around Portland? (Okay, okay… that was my question.)

• Neat men’s fashion retail in Portland, good women’s swimsuit shopping. Suggestions needed!

And here’s a question that doesn’t have anything to do with puppies or David Carradine…

• The Michael Hutchence question: Is it better for people to think you died from autoerotic asphyxiation, or from suicide?

Don’t just hang around! (Too soon?) Visit QUESTIONLAND and obtain the knowledge you need today!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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