As dutifully reported in this week’s I Love Television™, SHARK WEEK IS A-COMIN’, Y’ALL! And while I’m sure you’ll thrill to such subtly titled shows as Air Jaws Apocalypse, check out this somewhat less violent, and tons more ADORBZ parody called “Animals Acting Like Sharks Week.” (If you see a kitten fin, GET OUT OF THE WATER.)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=6HU7lcOTLjc

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)