Athiests of the world, prepare to suck a big tub of hippo dick—because 11-year-old Colton Burpo… excuse me for just a moment.
Ahem. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! HAW!!!
I’m back. 11-year-old Colton Burpo went on Fox & Friends to reveal to the world that he visited heaven when he was four-years-old and being operated on for an appendectomy, and now? He and his douchebag dad are writing a book about it. Please, please, please watch this if for no other reason than to hear the wondrously flat Colton Burpo describe how “heaven is like, huge, or whatever, I dunno, can I have a Milky Way bar? No? Whatever. I don’t give a shit.”
There you go, Athiests! Proof positive that there is a God, and he could smash you like a grape! ON YOUR NON-BELIEVING KNEES, ATHIESTS!! ON YOUR NON-BELIEVING KNEES!!
I hate him just because of his last name. #RCTID
Ketamine will make you see some strange shit.
“Colton Burpo”? $50 says that kid marries a Palin.
well, he had me at “he could fit the whole world in his hands.”
You may color my sceptical.
Not my, me. Dammit.
I can’t believe they didn’t ask him where Obama was born, or if jesus believes in taxes.
No old people in heaven? It makes me happy to think that every day I age I depreciate in His eyes.
Also:
“Mom, you had a baby died in your tummy, DINCHA?”
Wow, his father is an exploitative piece of trash. Yeah, just parade your kid in front of the cameras. Have him run his mouth about Jesus. Get a book deal out of it. Years later, the little guy is going to cry about this in therapy while unpacking truckloads of daddy issues.
“He’s got the whole world in his hands. He’s got the whole wide world in his hands.”
Jesus had blue eyes? What a shocker! I would have been more convinced if he said Jesus was a dark-skinned Arab man
Man. That kid is fucking BORED.
That was funny. What I think really happened is that he met Galactus, obvisouly, and that he confounded Jesus for Silver Surfer. That makes more sense, ah?
Barfo.
This kid’s gonna get a call from a very angry Tom Cruise.
It sounds contrived! The father could have told him to say these things. Why else would they write a book but to exploit…..I don’t hear of them giving the proceeds to the church….not even 1/10th ………….ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
If he’d said he met George Burns, I’d be less inclined to think he was a little very well-coached prick…
If you believe in God and heaven itself you would love the book.. Dont Put down on a book before you even read it.. like your parents always said if you have nothing good to say dont say it all.. I’m not going to judge you as a person that is not my job but that day when your time is up you will stand before Jesus himself and he will be the last to judge you. I hope for your sake you will find Jesus and his words of wisdom. He did not die on a cross for us to act that way!
If I lived in Nebraska I’d wanna go to heaven too. I’m from Australia and my visit to Nebraska was eye opening ! Big trucks , terrible fast food and DUMB people
“FAKE STORY” This book “Heaven is Real” is for weak minded people that need to be reassured by a story of anykind with tender drama attached to it that heaven does exist! instead of taking in faith that which the Bible has showen and stated, story of sympathy with Bible verses throwen in to guild one even futher into this abyss, No need to go into the Biblical aspect of it for those that are knowledgeable in scripture,because they would see this as for what it really is,another attempt to bring God down to our level so we feel better and more confident in Gods Word, I wonder if the father that reported to the TV news station that his son was up in a ballon that looked like a saucer will be writing a book on it? at $16.99 for paper back “heaven for Real” has made me feel better….in not buying this nonsense………..