Big tip o’ the hat to Blogtown Tipper Jay for turning me on to this heeelarious Christian video which pressures teens to wait until they’re married to kiss. LET ME REPEAT THAT. This video advises kids to not even kiss until their wedding day. Unless of course, by “kiss” they mean “fellatio.” I’m sure that’s what they mean, right? So every time they say the word “kiss” in this clip, substitute it in your head for the word “fellatio.” It all makes sense then.


https://youtube.com/watch?v=-5a1uBXtqC8%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

6 replies on “Never Been Kissed: The Plight of the Horny Christian Teen”

  2. you’ve not heard of people waiting to kiss? perhaps it’s because i was raised Christian and knew kids who did this, but i thought people were aware.

  3. I worked with a lady who was saving kissing til marriage. Her favorite artists were Norman Rockwell and Walt Disney. True story!

  4. Dudes! I grew up a Southern Baptist, which is about as fundie as one can get (outside of radical Islam), and even THEY were okay with making out!

  6. any conversation that starts with “when you lay down in your marriage bed” is bound to be hilarious, unless, of course, those words are uttered by your father.
    creepy…

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