1. How does one find the clitoris?

 I’m told the clitoris is not hard to find — go north, young man — but if one tries to find it and one fails, one should pull over (or pull out) and ask for directions.

 2. If someone tells you to “do whatever you want,” should you?

Someone who says that and means will eventually say it to the wrong person and get hurt; they’re a danger to themselves. Someone who hears that and takes it as license to do whatever they want is a danger to others. So, a decent person — by definition — wouldn’t do whatever they wanted to someone who told them they could. And seeing as you’re a reader of mine, I’m hoping you’re a decent person.

P.S. People who say “do whatever you want” don’t mean it. What they mean is this: “I’m too embarrassed to ask for what I want, so I want you to guess.” Never guess.

 3. Instruct me on what I need to know about trying tantric sex with my boyfriend.

There’s only one thing I can tell you about tantric sex: You’ll have to ask someone else, as I know nothing about it.

 4. I’ve been with my partner for eight months. I’m a quite small woman and seem to be even smaller down there, which means there’s not much I can do in the bedroom without getting hurt. We have tried different positions but more than half cause me to bleed or be so sore that we’re left with maybe three positions that work. I can see he gets frustrated with being limited. Is there any way to make myself slightly bigger to give him more room to have fun?

Most couples experiment with different positions before landing on a few that work for them — positions and angles of penetration that work best for their bodies during penetrative sex — and those positions become their go-to/default positions. There are lots of ways a straight couple can enjoy each other prior to having PIV in a position that’s pleasurable for both partners; two people can also enjoy each other (and get each other off) without having penetrative sex every time (or at all). If your boyfriend is pushing you to have PIV sex in positions that are painful for you, he’s a selfish asshole and you should DTMFA.

 5. Should a woman “prep” every time before doing anything anal — even just a plug?

A woman who can’t tolerate even a chance of mess should “prep” (read: douche) before anal; if someone is into anal but squeamish about mess, he can ask his female partner to prep. (And he should show his gratitude for the effort with something other than his dick). As for butt plugs: since they don’t go in and out during sex, they don’t really require prep. (Lube? Yes. Prep? No.) If you’re concerned about what a plug might look like when it comes out, head to the bathroom once the fun is over and remove on your own.

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Read the rest of this week's column here! And this week on the Lovecast: A woman has made a new exciting friend! But this friend ditches her other friends and treats them as disposable. Is the caller next?

 Here’s the kind of pragmatic question and answer you’ve come to expect from the Savage Lovecast: Is it safe to douche with non-potable water?

On the Magnum, folks have been asking for a menopause expert for a while now, and we’ve got her. Dr. Stacy De-Lin has been a proud member of the Planned Parenthood team since 2013. She gives us the basics on peri-menopause, menopause, and how to mitigate the negatives. Women have been chronically under-treated, and there are medications that can help. LISTEN HERE!