For many people, few things are more infuriating than slow walkers—those seemingly inconsiderate people who clog up sidewalks, grocery aisles and airport hallways while others fume behind them.
Researchers say the concept of “sidewalk rage” is real. One scientist has even developed a Pedestrian Aggressiveness Syndrome Scale to map out how people express their fury.
But the article offers a few coping suggestions:
For instance, instead of thinking about how much of an idiot the pedestrian is and how he shouldn’t be allowed on the sidewalk, imagine the person is lost or confused, or simply doesn’t see you.
Okay. Everyone on Southeast Hawthorne is lost and confused. I can do this.
(Does this mean I have to stop making fun of my roommate for thinking she has Restless Leg Syndrome? Because I really don’t want to.)
RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME IS A REAL THING ALISON.
Oh man, I do get this sometimes. But usually the attempt at empathy fails so I just imagine their heads exploding a la Scanners. It doesn’t help. I’m a jerk. (frowny face)
I posit instead that there a just a bunch of people with “No Awareness of What The Fuck Is Going Around Me Syndrome” and the rest of us are forced to cope with their incompetence. Rage is just nature’s way of dealing with ignorance.
RLS is no joking matter!!! I’m totally going to commission that well-fed chick from the Stranger to write a uber-long diatribe denouncing your insensitivity.
@Kiala: No it’s not.
@DeepCerulean LOL, do it quick I hear her shame is back and soon she will move from well fed onto the next stage (human foie gras)
I just chalk it up to people being unaware that I’m more important than they are. Of course, I’m kind of a dick.
@ Erik. Wrong. I have it.
Yeah, douche-baggy groups walking slowly up and down Hawthorne four or five abreast, cluelessly unaware that they’re like a dam holding back more aware, resolute and purposeful people on the sidewalk.
They and middle age women at Winco serve as powerful enough of a literal metaphor to make me almost believe in Ayn Rand and/or eugenics.
I agree with tk but I can’t decide if it’s “No Awareness of What The Fuck Is Going Around Me Syndrome” or “Just a trust fund asshole who has no manners and likes to fuck with people who actually have somewhere to go, so I walk slow or on the wrong side of the sidewalk syndrome”.
How about the “I like to block the whole aisle at the grocery store with my cart because I’m the most important shopper in the world syndrome”?
@GLV: No, you don’t. You are delusional.
Just scream on the left and drive you bike on through like the rest of the bikes on the Hawthorne sidewalk.
Are there genuine ways to be a “purposeful person” on Hawthorne?
It’s definitely that there’s a “No Awareness of What The Fuck Is Going On Around Me Syndrome”.
NAOWTFIGOAMS!
Aimless meandering doesn’t irritate me nearly as much as folks who see you rushing somewhere and hurry to get in front of you so they can see what you are after. “He must be after something good! What can it be?”
@ Graham: that must be why there is an FDA-approved medication for the affliction. Because all those doctors and patients are delusional.
“Make way! Alison’s got the green apple quick steps!”
You people do not understand the bullshitty twitchy pain, willies feeling of RLS. IT SUCKS. But I didn’t get it until I was about 32 so GIVE IT TIME.
My ex had restless leg syndrome and he’d have to drape his leg over me at night to quiet down the twitchy weirdness … ahhhhhhh, sweet memories.
Aggro slow walkers who know you’re behind them and puff hard on their cigarettes.
#17 if a drug works they don’t advertise it on TV, they market it directly to the doctor.