There are many alarming things in this news story of a Kenyan man who “defiles” (has sex with) a “she-goat.” But the most alarmig thing is that the she-goat was actually present in the courtroom. Okay, maybe that’s not the most alarming thing. BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY ALARMING THINGS!!!

More information here, if you’re that kind of person.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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