Since people with the last name Humphrey rarely if ever are invited into “threesomes,” I was pleased when Dan Humphrey got super-duper lucky on last night’s episode of Gossip Girl—BUT YO! IT GETS BETTER! Because not only does Dan get to she-bang that hot piece of brunette tail, HILARY DUFF jumps into the fray and gives her a tippity-tap as well! Now that’s what I call some Lezzie McGuire! AM I RIGHT?? (What do you mean “I’m disgusting”? Hilary Duff played Lizzie McGuire, and… oh, forget it. You’re the stuck up one, not me. Soooooooo… do you want to have a threesome or not?)
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey